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Song Parodies -> "Blood Clot Grew Under My Skin"

Original Song Title:

"I've Got You Under My Skin"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"Blood Clot Grew Under My Skin"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

I am 6 feet tall and keep my weight in the 160s (lb), but after watching a relative spend a week in the hospital and two weeks in a nursing facility to remedy a severe clot in one leg, I thought I'd use TOS to sound a warning for others. Perhaps US citizens who read this won't need the First Lady's scoldings and shexecutive orders to coerce them into better eating and exercise habits. Education and free will can trump the nanny state every time.
Blood clot grew under my skin;
Blood clot moved, creepin' to'ard heart of me,
So deep in my heart that it nearly departed me;
But naught would sunder my skin.

I tried so, sought to live thin.
I said to myself, "This is rare, never kills, tolls no bell."
So why should I try to resist that gravy I know so well?
That blood clot's glued under my skin.

I'd sacrifice Ringy-Dings, some delight,
Choc'late cake that's lavish, brewed beer
Not lite; heed a warning voice that comes in the night
And entreats, repeatin' my fear:

"Don't you know, griddle fool, you're better when thin.
"Lose your obesity, shape up or you'll cease to be."
But each diet I do, just the thought of food
Makes me stop before I begin,
Causing lots new under my skin.
A recent research study tied the rise of obesity partly to reduced smoking. There's an unintended consequence of federal regulation. Whack a mole!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Monday Morning QBJM - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
A tastier word-sub is "eclair" for "is rare," in line 6.
Monday Morning QBJM - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
In line 3, "weakened" or "weak was" is more ominous than "deep in".
Porfle Popnecker - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
In line 9, I would replace "Ringy-Dings" with "glazed doughnuts" because I think "glazed doughnuts" taste better. Other than that, great parody!
AFW - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Especially liked your "griddle fool" sub...and good rhymes like, obesity and cease to be..
2Eagle - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Good message. One more thing is to keep your blood circulating - excercize!
Barry J. Mitchel - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
PP: Pick your poison; I invented those treats to match "anything" in TOS.
AFW: Clots result from arterial plaque rather than obesity per se.
2E: True; XRcise can help lead from XL size to M or even S. Thanks, all C/Vs.
Christie Marie M - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Is there PAD (Peripheral Artery Disease) in this satire somewhere? Yeah, what you said about blood clots and obesity relate to one another. As for me, I got to start watching what I eat. My biggest downfall is that I got a very sweet tooth while my family (including myself) has a history of diabetes and heart conditions. Lately the only exercise I've been doing lately is walking 10 miles from the train station to my job. And also walking my dogs occasionally. But this is a perfect OS you chose for this topic.
Barry J. Mitchel - November 15, 2011 - Report this comment
CMM: You certainly qualify as a poster girl for the First Lady's "Let's Move" campaign! In job commuting, I walked daily 5 miles round-trip; that was plenty.
Andria - November 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Great parody... I admit that I could stand to lose some weight (5'7" & 172 pounds), but the gyms here all have creepy managers, I don't feel safe walking in the park here due to Occupy _____, and the weather here has not been conducive to hiking... at least I carry my weight nicely. 5s.
Barry J. Mitchel - November 16, 2011 - Report this comment
A: Look for an all-female gym, e.g., Curves or YWCA, preferably with a pool.
My last line is clearer if preceded by "Makes me stop; once more I dig in,".

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