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Song Parodies -> "December Song"

Original Song Title:

"September Song"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"December Song"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

The US Congress seems bent on passing as much Progressive legislation as possible before they turn into pumpkins on January 4. I present three variations of the last two (well known) stanzas of TOS to highlight three issues that they consider urgent.
--- The Omnibus Budget and "Tax Rate Extension" ---

Oh, as the lame ducks smile, betray 2 November, [1]
Simpson-Bowles Report nor PayGo remember.
Earmarks got them tethered; spurned, they leave in shame;
This isn't the time for the ratings game.

Means and Ways pinned them down and repressed them through
November, December.
Sixty-two session days [2] they'll bend to shoo
Progressive's nays, while spending grew.

--- STrategic Arms Reduction Treaty ---

Oh, we've a long, long pile of nukes to dismember,
But our gaze grows short when we don't remember
How we fought as brethren, learned the cold-war game.
Our weapons bought time; war then never came.

So when phases cull down to a balanced few,
NATO members fear embers.
In these precar'ous days, pretend START's true;
Nu-mer-ous ways the end we'll rue.

--- Repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the Military ---

Oh, it's the lame-duck style, betray 2 November.
Butt the gays now sport, in crew breach a member.
When the odd bums tether, are relieved, no blame.
They have a hot time in the dating game.

Oh, the gays win their crown 'cause the pressure grew. [3]
November's, December's
Sixty-two precious days extend rules blue
For specious gays, offending you.
[1] Congress misunderstood the intent of the voters.
[2] From November 4 to January 4 inclusive, as Senator Reid threatened.
[3] Group lobbying efforts and congressional testimony by military brass.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   3

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - December 21, 2010 - Report this comment
BJM - Three at a time! Pundits and historians are obsessed by the first magic "Hundred Days" of a "progressive" administration (Roosevelt, Obama, etc.). But these final sixty-two days really have shown a government working at desperate warp speed! I would guess that, flushed with the landslide mandate of 2008, no one foresaw or even dreamed that 2010 could ever occur. Ah yes...this parody: Well done with the usual skill and sly wit which sets you apart from the pack here. Merry Christmas! ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - December 21, 2010 - Report this comment
OMR: Thanks for your generous comment. I wanted to include the DREAM Act (Democrats Register Every Alien Migrant), but couldn't work it in.
I'd read horror stories about previous lame-duck sessions, going back 200 years (when they stayed 4 months), but this one breaks all records.
My tenses are inconsistent in order to match OS phenomes; in lines 3 and 20 (not counting titles), I'd change "they" to "they'll" to mean soon in the future.
Dana Mathewson - December 21, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm sure glad it's not necessary to pick one of these as a favorite, since they are all so good! One can only hope that Harry Reid's "goose on steriods" comes back to do what geese do, to him and his minions. Meanwhile, Barry, we have you, and, like OMR, I wish you Merry Christmas (also to your lovely wife).

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