Are you loathsome tonight?
Don't you kiss me tonight.
Are you sorry you launched every fart?
Does your cleanliness stray
on this hot summer day
I can smell you, my nose splits apart.
Do the chairs in your parlor
wish they weren't there?
Do you gaze in your mirror
and see too much hair?
Are my eyes filled with pain?
Does my nose feel a strain?
Tell me dear, are you loathsome tonight?

I wonder if you're loathsome tonight.
You know that someone said
"The world's a stage, but the play is badly cast."
Fate had me wishing our love was stuck deep in the past.
Act One was when we met.
I loved you at first glance.
You read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue.
Then came Act Two.
You sure have changed.
You are deranged
and I wish you were gone.

Honey, you reek every time you're with me
and I have no cause to love you.
And I don't want go on pointing out those flies
that are still flying above you.

Now the stage offends, and I'm on the ends
with foul odor all around.
And if you're going to stay with me
then they can bring the curtain down.

Are my eyes filled with pain?
Does my nose feel a strain?
Tell me dear, are you loathsome tonight?