(instrumental opening)

Wise guy, pretty Miss Paula Abdul
and ol' Randy, soul on fire!
But that mean old Simon is ready to burn.
His anger's going up higher!

There's a thousand pretty women waiting out there.
Simon Cowell, that devil don't care.
'Cause he's just a devil with smack to spare.
Yeah!
He's so outrageous!
He's so outrageous!

How I wished that there was more
than "24" showing there on Fox!
But Simon is there, he's haughty more
and giving those poor kids some shocks!

Well, there's soulsters and twangers and the boy-brand feel.
A fortune they will seek on a record deal.
All they need's to survive Simon's words of steal.
Yeah!
He's so outrageous!
He's so outrageous!

He's so outrageous!
With his tongue a-slashing
and his well-trained barbs a-crashing
all their hopes down the drain!

He's so outrageous!
Turning pretty into ugly!
Turning smart into nerdy!
If you see him once
you'll never be the same again!

I'm gonna keep on the watch
as those singers botch
some songs, and some might even be mine!
If their spirits broke
well, they'll always know Simon
he had him a zingin' time!

Well, they're gonna give it everything they've got!
Lady Paula, she'll be lookin' really hot!
The winner, come to Vegas, I'll give you a shot!
Ah!
He's so outrageous!
He's so outrageous!
He's so outrageous!
Simon!
He's so
outrageous!

(instrumental fadeout)