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Song Parodies -> "I Picked Morneau"

Original Song Title:

"I Gotta Know"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"I Picked Morneau"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

The original song, written by Paul Evans, is the lesser-known B side of "Are You Lonesome Tonight." If you think Derek Jeter was only the sixth-most-valuable player in the American League in the 2006 season, then you deserve to be lonesome.
Get up in the morning, head out to the park.
Taking batting practice from noon until it's dark.
I gotta get in all my quota.
We're playing Minnesota.
Who's the guy who makes those Twinkies go?
I picked Morneau, picked Morneau, picked Morneau.

Justin Morneau's batting, hits one down the line.
Our right fielder gets to it, not what I had in mind.
Around the bases, Justin's racing.
How long can he keep pacing?
MVP, to whom will that thing go?
I picked Morneau, picked Morneau, picked Morneau.

That team has Joe Mauer.
Good catcher and his stats are fine.
But unlike Derek Jeter, I'll be sour
if I end my career, no Pennants, not one time!

Well, they pitched Johan Santana.
He's great, that's what I read.
He throws fastball and slider.
Sends hitters off to bed.
Oh, well, Jermaine Dye with the White Sox.
Ortiz with Red ones, he rocks.
Who gets picked for MVP's big show?
I picked Morneau, picked Morneau, picked Morneau.

His stats are inflated.
That Metrodome increased his line.
I will not say that Justin's overrated.
But maybe New York's shortstop should have won this time.

Well, the Star-Tribune, it says so.
So does Pioneer-Press.
The Twins' first baseman, he is
American League's best.
You know, he plays in Minneapolis.
Opponents, they'll be hapless.
Is he MVP? Well, I guess so.
I picked Morneau, picked Morneau, picked Morneau.
I picked Morneau, picked Morneau, picked Morneau.
I picked Morneau, picked Morneau, picked Morneau.
(repeat 'til fade)
I'm not saying Morneau isn't a really good player, or that his great season was a fluke. I'm just saying Jeter deserved the MVP more. What really gets me is that the Detroit Tigers won the Pennant, but none of their players got serious MVP consideration. Very strange.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Chris Kilo - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Not sure I know the OS, but something about it strikes me as familiar...but anyway, good job, Mr. Pacholek. 555
alvin rhodes - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
good to see a twinkie getting the nod
Max Power - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Here's the first place vote. Cowley must've seen this and decided to vote 1 on it.

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