~
I used to crave a Flintstone tat, it’s passé, though
Of late I’ve got an urge to ink a ‘Homer’ , so…
I’ve checked out your parlor’s
Portfolio
They say that you’re a Homer sage, so gimme ‘D’Oh!’
I’m feelin’ déjà blue
I wanna Homeresque Tattoo!

It doesn’t matter that I’m only 4 foot 2
A tiny tat that’s Homerish’ll make me *Woo!!*
My Matt Groening fan club
Just sprung a *SPRONG!*
In retrospect my flaming ‘Bart’ skull did them wrong
I won’t ink ‘Milhouse’—Eww!
I wanna Homeresque tattoo!

~

Rad tats, all over Moi
I’ve got hepa A through Z-ee-ee-ee !
*My* third liver transplant took
But now I need new kidneys!

Now listen Tat Man—
Ink my body, I’ll display it everywhere
(Except Star Trek conventions, Wrath of Kahn they’d bear)
I’ll flaunt all my ‘D’Oh!’ ness
Sans pants and shoes
So screw South Park, Sponge Bob and Futurama—Boo!
I’m Jetsons-phobic, too
I wanna Homeresque tattoo!

Oh, ohhhhhh!

Picasso, Gogh, and Munch
Inspire my Homer *tat’s* cachet-ay-ayya!
But since my skin’s a saggin’ mess
It’s more Dali than Monet!

So Listen, Tatster—
I don’t wanna ‘Smithers’ or a ‘Burns’ tattoo
Nor ‘Flanders’, ‘Wiggins’, ‘Krusty’ or a ‘Marge' in lieu
So please ink me somethin’
This midget’s craved
A forehead tat of Homer’s butt that’s smoothly shaved!
No other tat will do—
I wanna bid my derm adieu
My skin ain’t *virgin*, now every inch is blue
This Simp’ son’s staged a Homer coups!
~