Act II, Scene 2: Juliet's Home and Garden, as featured in "Bitter Homes And Gardens" Magazine
Just look as lovely light through yonder window breaks!
When Juliet shows, Romeo so shakes and aches
'Cause he's got a "Jones" on, this love-struck dude
But Capulet and Montague: unending feud
Pathetic, but it's true:
They're star-crossed lovers, these poor two!
ROMEO:
With love's light wings, I overperched the garden walls
I fear your kinsmens' swords less than my aching balls
And what love can do, that ... dares love, attempt
From enmity of family, am I exempt
Let death from them, ensue
I only want to Julie, woo
Un-shtupped, this guy, woe, he;
Snuck into her fam'ly's dance
Eye fell on Juliett-ish charms
Guy stiffens; stand, his lance
He's jissin' horny!
JULIET:
Why the heck must Romeo be Montague?
ROMEO:
For thee, dear, I would gladly bid my name "adieu"
JULIET:
'Cause what's in a name that ... could, love: defeat?
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
An alias will do
ROMEO:
I'd be "Goldberg" to be with you!
[interlude]
JULIET:
Uh, oh: I've copped; should I be coy?
ROMEO:
Don't leave me unsatisfied
JULIET:
Satisfied? How, on our first night?
ROMEO:
Please say that you'll be my bride
Oh, hear him, Honey!
JULIET:
Dost thou love me, or dost merely court and spark?
A maiden blush bepaints my cheek, though it be dark
They say that Jove laughs at ... alll lover's lies
Don't swear you love me just to get between my thighs
Nor by inconstant moon
It's happening, but much too soon
Good-night! Our parting: such sorrow, but so sweet,
I'll say good-night till dawn's light, greet!