I walked down the street like a good guy should;
He followed me down the street like I knew he would,
Because a gay is a gay wherever he may be;
So listen while I tell you what this fellow did to me.

I walked to my house like a good guy should;
He followed me to my house like I knew he would,
Because a gay is a gay wherever he may be;
So listen while I tell you what this fellow did to me.

I never saw this guy before, so nothing could be sillier.
At closer range, his face was strange, but his manner was familar.

So I walked up the stairs like a good guy should;
He followed me up the stairs like I knew he would,
Because a gay is a gay wherever he may be;
So listen while I tell you what this fellow did to me.

I walked to my door like a good guy should;
He stopped at my door like I knew he would,
Because a gay is a gay wherever he may be;
So listen while I tell you what this fellow did to me.

He asked me for a good-night kiss;
I said, "It's still good-day."
I would have told him more, except
His lips got in the way.

So I asked Parent One like a good child should,
Who asked Parent Two like I knew One would,
And they all agreed on the married life for me.
That gay is my guy wherever he may be.

So I walked down the aisle like A-Partner should.
He promised me "until death" like B-Partner should,
Because a gay and a gay wherever can mar-ry.
So now you've heard the story of what someone did to me.

[Musical interlude -- Mendelssohn's Wedding March intro]

That's what he did to me!