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Song Parodies -> "al-Qaida is Sly"

Original Song Title:

"A Guy is a Guy"

Original Performer:

Doris Day

Parody Song Title:

"al-Qaida is Sly"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

The Rules of Engagement hamper troops and contractors in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. This is an imaginary but plausible story of one incident in Iraq and its aftermath. See Doris Day - A Guy Is A Guy lyrics for the original song; I interchanged some stanzas for story continuity.
I walked down the street, like a soldier should.
They planted bombs down the street, like I knew they would,
Because al-Qaida has tried, wherever it may be,
Enlisting hands for hellish plot to quell our liberty.

I never saw the boy who wore a cloth-wrapped hood, familiar.
At closer range, he acted strange, as he brandished belt and scimitar.

So I talked down his wares, like a soldier should.
I followed him to the lairs where insurgents stood.
That's where al-Qaidans took pride in clever repartee,
Indoctrinating youth to spot the smell of liberty.

I stalked their safe house, like a soldier should,
By following cat-and-mouse leads in neighborhood.
I found al-Qaidans inside; before they could slay me,
I twisted bands around the lot to quell THEIR liberty.

I'd knocked on the door, like a soldier should,
And called, "On the floor!" while I blew that wood.
Because al-Qaidans will hide, whenever they may see
The blistering Intelligence of U. S. Infantry.

You asked me why I should write this. I said, "I nil should say.
"I could be bold and more adept. My quips go oft astray."

So I talked to my sarge, like a soldier should,
And sarge talked to martial court's lawyers good;
And they all agreed on less-harried life for me.
al-Qaida's alive wherever it may be.

So I may go on trial, for some say I should
Have read their legal rights in language understood.
Because al-Qaidans can cry, and ever be set free,
For now they've heard press story: they have rights like you and me.

That's what war's come to be.
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User Comments

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Andria - December 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Al-Qaeda is more than just sly... they're downright evil. DKTOS, so no vote, but just as funny as Al-Qaeda is evil.

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