Stumble out of Bed and I need a magician.
How long's my face been in this condition?
Smoke and mirrors hide the march of time.
Fight the battle of the bulge, no liposuction.
Donuts are weapons of ass destruction.
To girls like me that go from a 9 to a 5.

Went from a 9 to a 5, what a way to end up livin'.
And I wish that I could at least just be a seven.
Getting' older I let happen and don't dread it.
And At least I can prove that I am still Red headed.
9 to 5. I pay 80 bucks for lotion.
And I wish that I could obtain a secret potion.
That would smooth my lines.
Like the days when I was sexy.
Its enough to try you. But I aint gonna let it fret me.

You sweat for no reason and you get fatter.
You laugh and lose control of your bladder.
Well at least that's what they tell me anyway.
My right knee cracks whenever it bends.
How long before i'm wearin' depends.
Time goes on and we all get old and gray.

Went from a 9 to 5, what a way to end up livin'.
And I wish that I could at least just be a seven.
Gettin' older I let it happen and don't dread it.
And at least I can prove that I am still Redheaded!
9 to 5. I pay 80 bucks for lotion.
And I wish that I could obtain a secret potion.
That would smooth my lines like the days when I was sexy.
Its enough to try you. But I aint gonna let it fret me.