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Song Parodies -> "Everybody's Groped Somebody"

Original Song Title:

"Everybody Love Somebody"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"Everybody's Groped Somebody"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

I guess it's all a matter of how you define "grope".
Everybody's groped somebody sometime
Everyone's been jostled in a crowd
Every elbow's rubbed an elbow
Not that's not allowed

Everybody's bumped somebody's buttocks
Then has said "Excuse me" and moved on
If you want a job in Congress
Your chances are gone

If you've vocalized the "N" word
Or you've ever told somebody to "Get "F"-ed"!
The voters will be in deep "S" word
There won't be a lot of ballot choices left

Everyone is flinging accusations
Everyone is dredging up the past
Some are being paid for mem'ries
The stone has been cast

Truth cannot prevail 'gainst slander
And your rivals are determined to deceive
Political the motivation
When deciding who you will and won't believe

Everyone has sinned, so Scripture tells us
All have fallen short to some degree
Should we leave the Senate vacant?
That's all right with me

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Claude Prez - November 21, 2017 - Report this comment
This is great -- not hilarious per se but very well written, and definitely agree overall with the idea that it's a witch hunt (hey I just got an idea for a Hall & Oates parody!). Also, I youtubed the original to read along, and wound up with this:

Anyone who DKTOS, watch that and thank me later; it's great too.
Rob Arndt - November 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Let me assault you with 555 compliments!
Patrick - November 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Strange coincidence. Turned on the TV this morning to learn that the widely respected journalist, Charlie Rose has been accused of, and apparently confessed to, sexual improper acts with women who wanted to work for his company. Roy Moore has been a controversial figure in Alabama and nationally for years. Why are the powers behind the scene only now trying to derail him with these accusations? There were many times when he sought public office or held one that the left would have had motivation to release these stories. I'll watch for your Hall and Oates witch hunt parody. Thank Rob. I'm sure you will have something to say on the subject. "He put a squeeze on me". "I squeeze you, you grope me".
Jonathan - November 21, 2017 - Report this comment
yup, too many accusations, not enough evidence. I'm sure some have merit, but some just seem like "hmm... I don't like this guy, what's the fastest way to ruin his career?" 5s
Claude Prez - November 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Yeah, it is starting to feel like all we're learning is who has a grudge on whom...anyway, turns out William Tong took time out of his busy Dubya-bashing schedule to defend Slick Willie with the "Witch Hunt" idea, which I probably wouldn't have done anyway, but definitely won't now.
Rob Arndt - November 21, 2017 - Report this comment
I have no opinion on Moore either way. A man is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Public opinion is partisan these days. Politicizing bad behavior is the new new norm these days. The optics look bad either way. Numbers vs decades on non-reporting. Let Alabama decide.
Patrick - November 22, 2017 - Report this comment
Representative John Conyers of Michigan is the latest to fall prey to sexual accusations, but being Black and a Democrat, he will be held to a different standard than a White, conservative Republican. I learned from CNN that Congress has a special Treasury fund to pay off women or men who accuse representatives of sexual harassment. I bet they have to keep refilling that account on a weekly basis. William Tong, once the most prolific writer on this site, was a one-note Bush basher. He faded away about the time I discovered amiright, shortly before Barack Obama was elected. Tong never allowed comments. Tommy Turtle said it was because his stuff was so controversial it would take up too much bandwidth. I've recently been thinking of another long-silent writer. I hope I can get the question of his current status past the new rules.
John Jenkins - December 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Leaving the Senate vacant is all right with me, too.

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