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Song Parodies -> "Cigarette Committee"

Original Song Title:

"Cygnet Committee"

Original Performer:

David Bowie

Parody Song Title:

"Cigarette Committee"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I managed to walk away from the cigarettes after almost 34 years and though I will not beccome militant about the matter (I will control what goes into my lungs only, not anyone elses), who says I can't use the topic for a parody lyric? This has been my most difficult parody to date but I hopefully did justice to the topic. Enjoy!
I bought you madly,
sadly as I catch my breath
I smoked you willingly,
but there were times I do confess...
Because of you I danced with Death...
Because of you I gain no rest...

So many packs smoked
and nothing has changed...
They didn't make me
more mature...or gain me friends...
only left me sitting alone...
and often bitter...

"I tried them all,
yes, I tried them all
From Camel nons to Barclay
I crushed them out in a ashtray
But I still carried around their foul stench...
What of me?

I was ridiculed for my efforts to be free...
words of hate, headaches and no sympathy....
I closed up doors
that would have somoothed the scene....
by braving rain and cold for Madam Nicotine!

With ravaged finances I became inured
because smoking as I did made me mature!
And Nicotine was an odd whore...
because I was accepted even laess than before!!!

I curse yoiu gladly..
Now that I'm finally free of you!
I despise you fully...
Now I've better things to do..
Your seductive call no longer rings true, no more...
Against you, I won a major war!

Feeding my habit
lest I feel the twinge
of addiction, alien to me
yet still part of me!
Why did I start?!
To be accepted by xome group so I could be more than me....

They gave a powerful talk man!
that was why they were banned
From radio and TV, Understand.

But they found ius anyways
despite being banned...
They called to us...
to worship nicotine and tar....

As your blackened lungs breathe their last....
The rich and poor addicxted both will gasp!
You surrendered years to foul grey smoke!
Now you pay the price for stupidity!
See the ruptured structure as your fare...
The price she now demands is meet and fair!!

When came the harvest, they planted more
tobacco seed!!
But we killed the killers
and left them there to bleed!!

Litigated against tobacco concerns
coughing from disease!
You and me made the smokers quit
(especially the poor)
with slogans such as:

"Put out the Winstons,
Marlboros in the trash
grind up the Camels
and save the extra cash!
Cut up the Kools
Give up your Newports or they will get you in the end!!!

We will know a better future after quitting
And its okay to shout "I'm free!
Free of this perfidy!!"

I was fearful when I first took Zyban
because the withdrawal pain might be more than I could stand
But I knew not of the power of this concoction of man...
I said:
"I believe in the power of will
I rejoice in victory!
Using Zyban pills I will fight the fight...
so that I no longer light up the night., I might well be right!

And with our minds clear, we looked around
And saw a plug of phlegm
lying on the ground.
As we turned our backs on their addictive lies
Plowing down all she has poisoned, her we despise..
But we don't hear her anymore....
Don't hear her anymore.!!!!
Madam Nicotine has finally lost!

And I Want to Believe!
That we are smarter now than before!
And I Want to Believe!
That we finally won this War!

And I Want to Believe
And You Want to Believe
And We Want to Believe
And We Want to Live
Oh, We Want to Live

We Want to Live
We Want to Live
We Want to Live
We Want to Live
We Want to Live

I Want to Live
I Want to Live
I Want to Live

I Want to Live
I Want to Live
I Want to Live

Personal Site More parodies are coming! (As I think of them.)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Havoc - You did this one justice! Only a smoker would know the "Camel nons to Barclay" scale (friends use to tear the filters off of my Carletons before smoking). Putting the story into a parody is infinitely superior to sanctimonious lecturing (and much more entertaining!). I just snuffed out my Pall Mall and may not light another. ;D

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