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Song Parodies -> "Hanging Chads and Hanging Judges"

Original Song Title:

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables"

Original Performer:

Marius from "Les Miserables."

Parody Song Title:

"Hanging Chads and Hanging Judges"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

The lament of a frusted Democrat Party lawyer - written in November, 2000, before I found out about
There's a brief that must be written
The appeal goes on and on.
Hanging chads and hanging judges
Caused this vote count marathon.

Once they talked of executions
Bush claimed he was not to blame
Then he promised tax refunding
But the refunds never came!

Al Gore talked about retirement
Claiming he would fight for me
He would put it in a lockbox
But the lockbox I don't see!

Oh Chief Justice, do not ask me
Whom these hanging chads were for,
In Broward County all is fair
In vote counting, love, and war.

From the sunlight through the ballot
I perceived a vote for Gore,
And some chads with pregnant dimples
Gave the VP two votes more.

If we count the votes enough times,
Maybe one time we will win
Dimpled chads and dimpled lawyers
Will not let Al Gore give in.

There's no leader in the White House
There is chaos on the Hill
If we don't resolve this conflict
We'll have Clinton with us still

Oh Chief Justice, please release me
From this vote recount ordeal
Do not read the brief we've written
Just say "No" to Gore's appeal!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   17

User Comments

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John Harvey - February 26, 2003 - Report this comment
John, you have composed a very powerful piece of propaganda for an unenlightened point of view. Just getting you back. I'll keep it light next time. ;)
John Jenkins - March 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Touché, John. Thanks for reading.
Phil Alexander - March 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Missed this one first time round - a super parody, JJ
Stray Pooch - March 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Anybody with the cojones to parody one of the best songs in "Les Mis" - and the international AIDS victim tribute song to boot - deserves high marks. It also deserves high marks just for being a darn good parody! The truth is, as a HUGE "Les Mis" fan it would take a lot to get me NOT to view a parody of this song as blasphemy. But you treated it with the intelligence and dignity (for a parody - lol) it deserved. I'm glad someone else commented on it, 'cause I would not have seen it otherwise.
Johnny D - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Bravo! Let's see more show tune parodies, people!
S.T.G. - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABCs) I loved the line 'all's fair in vote counting, love and war.' Golden. Being an Aussie teen, however, I only get so much of the in-jokes. 5-4-4
martha - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
This is great .. DKTOS .. but in places it feels like "Silver Threads and Golden Needles"... love the hnaging chads and hanging judges line.....
wdh - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABCs) DKTOS, but it reads very well and is very funny. Well done!
Leo Jay - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Let's hear it for musical theatre! Nicely done.
Meriadoc - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Loved the line about "we'll have Clinton with us still"! ;-D - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
You can slap me for this, but I've never seen (or heard) Les Miz. Fortunately, Johnkins, this works even without music. My fave lines are the dimpled lawyers one and the Clinton one.

And, for what it's worth, Don McLean has a song called "Empty Chairs" that tears my heart out.
Jeff Reuben - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Decent, but I got stuck on this line: Then he promised tax refunding But the refunds never came! While I'm never one to support Bush, I did actually get a tax refund.
John Jenkins - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for all of the comments. Spaff, I agree that Don McLean’s “Empty Chairs” is a powerful song, but I think that “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” from “Les Miserables” is more so. Jeff, the image that I was trying to create with this parody was that no legislation (neither Bush’s agenda, nor Gore’s agenda) was being passed during the prolonged vote recount, which was threatening to extend past the scheduled inauguration date.

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