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Song Parodies -> "Schuss, Bang!"
Original Song Title:
"Bang, Bang"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Cher
Parody Song Title:
"Schuss, Bang!"
Parody Written by:
Rick Cormier
The Lyrics
Schuss, bang! You couldn't ski
Schuss, bang! You hit that tree
Schuss, bang! You're history
Schuss, bang! A tree cut Sonny down
You were always out for kicks
You flew downhill on two thin sticks
Wore no condoms with strange chicks
Tried your hand at politics
Schuss, bang! You left no will
Schuss, bang! Just lots of bills
Schuss, bang! You took a spill
Schuss, bang! A tree cut Sonny down
If I could just turn back time
Hills of snow, you'd never climb
We'd both still be in our prime
You wouldn't sing, you'd pantomime
Schuss, bang! Don't got you, Babe
Schuss, bang! Too close a shave
Schuss, bang! An early grave
Schuss, bang! A tree cut Sonny down
(Faster Tempo)
Dogs would howl when you would sing.HEY!
Pitch was an elusive thingHEY!
There was plenty in that pineHEY!
Took away that sap of mineHEY!
(Tempo Slows)
Seems the world forgot you too
Now "Bono" is somebody new
He's a singer, just like you
Except his voice is strong and true
Schuss, bang! You couldn't ski
Schuss, bang! You hit that tree
Schuss, bang! You're history
Schuss, bang! A tree cut Sonny down
Schuss, bang! You hit that tree
Schuss, bang! You're history
Schuss, bang! A tree cut Sonny down
You were always out for kicks
You flew downhill on two thin sticks
Wore no condoms with strange chicks
Tried your hand at politics
Schuss, bang! You left no will
Schuss, bang! Just lots of bills
Schuss, bang! You took a spill
Schuss, bang! A tree cut Sonny down
If I could just turn back time
Hills of snow, you'd never climb
We'd both still be in our prime
You wouldn't sing, you'd pantomime
Schuss, bang! Don't got you, Babe
Schuss, bang! Too close a shave
Schuss, bang! An early grave
Schuss, bang! A tree cut Sonny down
(Faster Tempo)
Dogs would howl when you would sing.HEY!
Pitch was an elusive thingHEY!
There was plenty in that pineHEY!
Took away that sap of mineHEY!
(Tempo Slows)
Seems the world forgot you too
Now "Bono" is somebody new
He's a singer, just like you
Except his voice is strong and true
Schuss, bang! You couldn't ski
Schuss, bang! You hit that tree
Schuss, bang! You're history
Schuss, bang! A tree cut Sonny down
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 11 | 11 | 11 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
5s ... Somebody once sent me an email containing a "warning" from the Earth's trees: "Stop all logging, or we will kill one celebrity a week until you do!"
That is SO wrong using a Cher song on this topic...which is why it is funny! I got some of the other Cher song refs but probably missed many more. I would have to say Bono isn't really new anymore though, he is 44 (or so) and U2 has been around for 20 years. 5s
DKTOS, but it made me laugh anyway: I did wonder about the german, though. "Schiess, bang!" (shoot, bang) seemed more likely till I saw the subject matter (not to be confused with "Scheiss, bang", which would probably be Sonny's last words, were he German ;-) )
Most inventive...good to see some submits by ya'.....this title reminds me of an old R*R song..."Sh Boom"
lol...i knew what this was gonna be about as soon as i saw the title... too funny...i've been to sonny's grave
Funny
Did you hear the theory about the truth behind the Michael Kennedy death at Aspen (1998)? Insiders believe there was a second tree on the snowy knoll.
Clever OS, clever twists, yes, the Cher/Sonny thing and inside jokes. Two ski poles, two chairlift towers, and one tree = Five.
Clever OS, clever twists, yes, the Cher/Sonny thing and inside jokes. Two ski poles, two chairlift towers, and one tree = Five.
LOL! You are a Bono-fied genius!
"Wore no condoms with strange chicks" - is that why Chastity was born? - great stuff Rick, as usual - 555
JD-That might not be such a bad thing.... Red Ant-There were only two references to other Cher songs so, you got both. I wasn't really saying Bono is new, just that he is the new Bono, not Sonny. It was also a tie-in to the words "you too" in the previous line.....Philbo-Thanks for the German lesson. This song has a gypsy-like sound to it. It has the fiddle and mandolin thing going on. You've probably heard it but, your brain blocked it out so as not to induce trauma by the memory of it.....AFW- thanks....Alvin- thanks (I assumed you'd been there)....Thanks Larry....Tommy Turtle-I didn't hear that theory but, of course, it's gotta be true. Thanks for the comments.....PMS-thank you!....Stu-You may be right. I should have tried to fit Chastity into this. Nah!
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