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Song Parodies -> "I Won't Please Ev'rybody"

Original Song Title:

"I Wanna Be Somebody"

Original Performer:

Celebration musical

Parody Song Title:

"I Won't Please Ev'rybody"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

An aspiring-Broadway-actress character sang the OS (stanzas 1-6 below, can't find online) by Tom Jones & Harvey Schmidt 40 years ago. My parody (stanzas 7-12) might be sung by the new U.S. President.
At twenty, man, you've had it
If you know what I mean
And you start aging very fast
The day you reach thirteen

And so, before these golden days
These Lolita days are through
I'm gonna get myself some Pucci pants
And here's what I'm gonna do

I'm gonna be somebo-o-o-o-ody
Before they lay me in my grave
I'm gonna be somebo-O-o-ody
So everyone'll be my slave

Why should I sit home alone at ni-i-ight
Shakin' by some broken radiator?
When I could be up there in the li-i-ight
Shakin' on the stage of some the-8-er

I'm gonna need somebo-o-o-o-ody
Who'll buy me all the things I need
And help me be somebo-O-o-ody
Just like the people that I see-e-e-e-e
Makin' money on TV-e-e-e-e
Posin' in the magazi-i-i-i-ines
Dancin' on the movie scre-e-e-e-ens

Whip! Whip! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Whip! Whip! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Can't you see I wanna be somebody?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

At six long weeks, you've had it
With Democrat machine
And you start raging, so aghast
The way I'm preaching Green

And so, before these honeymoon
Dolce vita days are through
I'm gonna get my friends some moochy grants
And here's what I'm gonna do

I'll soon appoint my bu-u-u-u-udies
Though you may say that I'm a knave
And they'll prepare some bu-U-u-udgets
That nobody'll read or save

Why should I sit in the Senate twi-i-light
Fakin' as the token black debater?
When I could be up there in the li-imelight
Takin' up the stage like some cre-8-or

I'm gonna need some bu-u-u-u-uddies
Who'll write me all the regs I need
And help me shut down nu-U-u-utties
Don't like the people who are free-e-e-e-e
Shakin' money from the tre-e-e-e-e
Prosin' in Right magazi-i-i-i-ines
Bloggin' on computer scre-e-e-e-ens

Clip! Nip! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Rip! Snip! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Can't you see I won't please ev'rybody?
Tea party, anyone? I'm at bjmitchel@att.net for feedback.

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