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[La la la la—lala *la* la la L'AAAAAAH!]

He was afraid to come out of the DreamHouse™ (in a sweat!)
He was a nervous as Ken dolls can be (pretty wet!)
For of those billions of Barbies™ they've cranked out (quite a 'set'!)
He got boxed with—this *psycho-plastic* she!

Mid - riff - bared: Tell us now why Ken's so scared!

This Barbie's™—
Curvy, scurvy, teeny, meanie—flauntin' her blood-soaked bikini
That she wore on a rampage last night
A dates ya'-Bates ya', glitzy-blitzy manikin-o-cidal schitzy
So in the DreamHouse™ Ken quailed in fright!

Prom - two - three!: All dolled up for murder spree!
[La la la la—lala *la* la la N'AHHHHHHH!]

He tried to flee in her pink ragtop T-Bird (wouldn't start!)
But all four tires were slashed—then in red... (what a tart!)
on the windshield she'd scrawled out just three words... (psycho art!)
with the stump of Midge's arm: "Dude, you're dead..."

Spree - four - five: Disco Ken's 'Stayin' Alive'?

This Barb's™ one—
Franken shankin' Skipper-chipper clone of Jack—the frickin' stRipper
And now poor Kenny's the last one alive
This freaky-deaky specter-Lechter Meng-el-oid-y vivi-sector
Just diced GI Joe's whole squad with her knives!

Six, sev'rate: Who croaks next on this DreamDate™?
[La la la la—lala *la* la la G'AAAAAAH!]

So at dawn, he snuck over to Cathy's (on his knees!)
But she wern't Chatty™, her larynx asprawl (holy jeez!)
And 'Trickle' Elmo, too, tattered n' splatty* (mama, please!)
Mattel®, it's past time for a damn recall!

Eight - gyn - ten : How'd Ken fell his heinous hen?

He called in—
Gumby, Pokey, Molly, Polly, Betsy-Wetsy, Hello Dolly
Their plan was simple, a vortexy coups!
Now screwy-shrewy, nyuk-y stuck'ee Pussycat Doll spawn of Chucky's?
Flushed down the toilet—met her Water Loo!
~
From the toilet to the sewer— (glub-glub, gasp!)
From the sewer to a loo— (claw-claw, grasp!)
With a vengance and a skewer— (2-foot hasp!)
Will the next one shiv'd be EWE?
(Cha cha cha!)

* per Ickypedia

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