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Song Parodies -> "My Front Pages"

Original Song Title:

"My Back Pages"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"My Front Pages"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Check out the front page of the November 3, 2004 edition of the New York Post: "OH, S---!" The narrator is Our Fearless Appointed Leader With a Purpose, a.k.a. George of the Bungle, Oilfinger, the Spinning Heel, Jay Jay the Jet Plane, the Presi-dunce, the Pretz-ident, the Wayward Son, the President-select, the President-defective, President Stem Cell, the White House Squatter, the Demander-in-Thief, or, as Bill Maher calls him, Drinky McDumbass. My favorite? I didn't think this one up, but "Third Reich From the Son!"
Crimson States every four years
rolled me, high and mighty, zap!
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
in Iraq, for Saddam's trap!
"Mission accomplished, yay!" said I
proud 'neath tightened brow.
Aw, but I was so much smarter then.
I'm dumber than that now.

Half-assed prejudice leaps forth.
"Go, John Ashcroft," I screamed!
Lies we tell 'bout black and white
from my empty skull, it seemed.
Dramatic words go through my ears:
"No increase in the Dow!"
Aw, but I was so much happier then.
I'm sadder than that now.

Girls' faces formed a backward step
say, "Phony, George, you be!"
I'm dredging up the politics
of ancient history.
Fill up the courts, evangelists
must man them all, somehow!
Aw, but I was so much holier then.
I'm sinner than that now.

A self-ordained successor, Dean
he's serious, no fool.
Spouting off 'bout liberty
and equality in school.
Equality? Don't know the word.
Clinton broke wedding vow!
Aw, but I was much more moral then.
I'm so sleazier now.

In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hands
with my middle finger's reach
never knowing my Democrat enemies
think I look like that kid Screech.
My pathways led by confusion snoots.
I'm losing from stern to bow!
Aw, but I was so much stronger then.
I'm weaker than that now.

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
from Saddam I'd predict.
Deceived you into thinking I
was the right guy to be picked.
Good and bad, I've been seen as both.
Now you're mad as a cow!
Aw, but I was so much smarter then!
I'm dumber than that now!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Happy 63rd birthday, Bob Dylan! Who had something to say to Bush and his maladministration all the way back in 1963. Check out the lyrics to "Masters of War." And we don't want to be stuck inside of Crawford with Miami blues again.

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