You must leave now, we send you off without a kiss
for thirty-six long years of giving Michael arthritis.
The pain you gave him ran from toes to skull
and so that's why we're at this hospital.
Look out now, the Saint Peter's doctor will snip
and it's all over now, balky hip.

You've plagued him all his life, going all the way back to birth
a greater enemy than any man who walked the Earth.
You've made him think his legs weighed 'round a ton
and gave him pain much worse than any gun.
No more must he take pill with water sip
and it's all over now, balky hip.

All your insurance investigators tried
to hold the procedure up, now they're mystified.
The doctor who just walked in the door
will remove you now and forevermore.
Out of the pelvis, you, he's going to strip
and it's all over now, balky hip.

Leaving you and your pain behind, that's what we will do.
Forget the other hip, he was replaced before you.
The lovely nurse who's standing at his door
will give him what he needs while he's still sore.
Now you're going on your final trip
and it's all over now, balky hip.