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Song Parodies -> "Sun-Times, Ol' Jay Is Ragin'"

Original Song Title:

"The Times, They Are A-Changin'"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Sun-Times, Ol' Jay Is Ragin'"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Jay Mariotti writes a sports column for the Chicago Sun-Times. He also appears as a panelist on ESPN's "Around the Horn." He's always writing about the disappointments of the Chicago Cubs and Bears, but swears that "Michael Jeffrey Jordan" (as Jay calls him) was the greatest basketball player of all time (the ghost of Wilt Chamberlain has something to say about that) and that the 1990s Bulls were the greatest sports dynasty. He frequently feuds with White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen (who, shall we say, "went Ann Coulter" on him) and fellow ATH panelist Woody Paige of the Denver Post (who calls him much less offensive names).
Come, gather 'round people, wherever you view
and this crazy Chi-town columnist will come through
and accept it that soon, venom he's gonna spew.
If a losing streak soon will be stagin'
then you'd better hope it doesn't happen to you.
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

Come, writers and columnists, put down your pen.
Pack typewriters up, their time won't come again.
And watch how those nasty words Jay's gonna spin
and there's no tellin' which Cub he's namin'.
They are losers now, not expected to win.
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

Come, panelists with him who go "Around the Horn."
His rivalry with Woody Paige is reborn.
He's been prepared for it since early this morn.
As Woody's decomposin' and agin'
he gets ready on Jay to heap tons more of scorn.
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

Come, big-shouldered city, on Lake Michigan.
He will criticize what he can't understand.
Of his faculties he is not much in command.
His shtick'll never be soon changin'.
He says Ozzie Guillen's nuts.
Oz says, "Talk to the hand!"
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

The line, it is drawn, the Curse on the Cubs.
The Bears' quarterback commits many more flubs.
And Jay will be writing about many more shlubs.
His anger will never be fadin'.
And the first one now, it just might be you, bub.
At Sun-Times, ol' Jay is ragin'!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 2.1
Overall Rating: 2.1

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   20

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
As Amiright's Chicago Representative, I approve of this hilarious parody. You did your curse on you!
alvin rhodes - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
a good read
Yoidy - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Big shouldered 5s.
John Barry - March 07, 2007 - Report this comment
A sporting parody.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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