A long long time ago,
I flatulated great
you handed me your drink,
and sealed my fate

noses go red with rum,
gout makes toes go blue
my liver's shot my love
my kidney's failing too

I drank it through high school,
and when the next drinks came,
a double vodka I took
next round was the same

noses go red with rum,
gout makes toes go blue
my liver's shot my love
my kidney's failing too



then I went far astray
and found some new drinks too
that Captain Morgan's better, here
and I drank that all that too

noses go red with rum,
gout makes toes go blue
my liver's shot my love
my kidney's failing too

I got those little pills
I take them daily, two
someday some guy invents
beer with meds in it too