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Song Parodies -> "Jingle Hell Schlock"

Original Song Title:

"Jingle Bell Rock"

Original Performer:

Bobby Helms

Parody Song Title:

"Jingle Hell Schlock"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

I left a comment on someone's Christmas parody that "Jingle Bell Rock" is my least favorite Christmas song. I hear it everywhere, coming out of ceilings in grocery stores, shopping malls, on the radio and TV, while better tunes, such as "Do They Know It's Christmas" or "In Dulci Jubilo" are ignored. So, if you think this is a bad parody, well, I didn't have much to work with. Nothing against Bobby Helms as a person. I'm sure he was more than delighted with the royalties. I wish anything I ever wrote would earn so much.
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock
Bobby Helms sings each sweep of the clock
Moanin' and groanin' I don't think it's fun
The repetition has begun

Jingle hell, jingle hell, jingle hell schlock
Jingle Bell chime's a jingle hell crime
Stompin' and chompin' my jangle hell head
Til I'm almost dead

What a trite rhyme, such a blight slime
That plays all night and day
"Jingle Bell" time is a swell time
To plug my ears and be running away

Lace 'em up Nike shoes, movin' my feet
"Jingle" is such a crock
Skip and a-stumble on my slippery feet
Flee from "Jingle Bell Rock"

"Jingle Bell", "Jingle Bell", "Jingle Bell" mock
"Jingle Bell" time for parody rhyme
Twitchin' and bitchin', a blank empty stare
I no longer care

It's the right time, start tonight time
To flush this song away
Bobby Helms dude, would it be rude
To run him over with a one-horse sleigh?

Giddy-up Jingle Horse, stamping your feet
Drag him around the block
Slippin' and slidin' in the tingling sleet
That's the jingle smell
That's the jingle yell
That's the jingle hell schlock

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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CC - December 13, 2019 - Report this comment
A most amusing ditty on a resonant sentiment, from preface to final gong. That tired old jingle horse has run its course; may it prance off into retirement with the Sugar Plum Fairy.
2Eagle - December 13, 2019 - Report this comment
Great lyrics to the OS. But I can think of more irritating songs than that one. There are weenie holiday songs such as "You're all I want for Christmas". Sung by Dan Hill perhaps?

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