If I was a Commodore
And you were my dhingy
Would you ferry my fantasies
And get me all tingly

You'd suck as a Commodore
You're a little dingy
Your fairytales were sung to me
Unbefittingly

I'm a sailor set adrift
Trynta stay afloat
I'm the Pirate that you have miffed
Role play can be cut throat

What's with this pirate crap
Why are you so moody
You look like a treasure map
I want your booty

If I were a hydrant
And you were a pitbull
Would you lift your crooked leg
And give me a spritzel

If i were a firechick
Who had a dalmation
He'd go piss on your silly head
Without hesitation

All is fair in love and war
I don't need more heartache
You can cook up metaphors
But I won't partake

If I grew my beard for you
You'd like me wooly
I'd tell you to go boff a ewe
Like a junior high school bully

If I was respectable
And you were to grow up
You'd still be detestable
You make me throw up

Share your love with one who cares
Share your life with gladdness
Beware of the game players
Avoid all their badness