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Song Parodies -> "If I Were Republican"

Original Song Title:

"If I Were a Carpenter"

Original Performer:

Bobby Darin

Parody Song Title:

"If I Were Republican"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics


If I were Republican
And you were not crazy
Would you vote for me anyway
Would your brain be hazy

We've a stinker who's in charge
From a group he blinded
Gonna sink the nation's barge
And his simple minded

Save the world by vote excess
Save the world by turnout
All that's left is due process
After all this burnout

Now he's washed his hands of blood
Blaming the med-ia
Must replace this Elmer Fudd
Someone to succeed ya

Yes, he's now a killer
Just a big wheel spinning
Pointing now at shiny things
And declares he's winning

If I were Republican
And you were not brainy
You would vote for me anyway
And we'd go insane-y
And we'll get more pain-y
Goin' down the drain-y

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.9
How Funny: 1.9
Overall Rating: 1.9

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   20
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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If you're a Democrat... - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
I recommend you rid the world of a goose-stepping racist bigot, a heartless and sadistic mass-murderer, and a fascist Commie traitor by killing yourself.
Bob Gomez - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
Dear If: Thanks to your helpful comment, automatic contributions have been sent to Black Lives Matter, UNICEF, the Gates Foundation, the Nature Conservancy, Save the Wallabees, and ANTIFA! Give yourself a big hug!
Rick Duncan - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
Thanks Bob. I notice all the Trumper idiots are so secretly ashamed they never sign a real name. This is providing more inspiration for me.
Oh, really? - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
So, "automatic contributions" go to all those racist and fascist hate groups you listed every time someone points out what irredeemably evil racists, robbers, rapists, mass-murderers, and traitors all you leftard vermin are? What KIND of contributions? Coupons good for free blowjobs and rimjobs at your brothel? Arson accelerants and weapons to help your fellow treasonous totalitarian terrorist thugs rob, rape, and murder more people in urban neighborhoods full of racial minorities? A portion of the proceeds from your fencing of the consumer goods you looted under cover of these urban riots you goose-stepping racist bigots incited in those same neighborhoods?

Whatever. Anyone can see you're lying: everyone knows you racist leftard fascists are the greediest, laziest, most parasitic vermin on the planet, and never contribute ANYTHING of your own to those hateful causes of yours; only what you can steal from somebody else.
Claira Janover - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
I’m too strong for you. I’m too strong for any of you "All Lives Matter," racist Trump supporters. It sucks. But it doesn’t suck as much as systemic racism. And I’m not going to stop using my platform to advocate for it.
Rich Vail - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
So, Claira, you're never going to stop using your platform to advocate for systemic racism? Gotta say, I always knew you Trump-haters were racists, but I never expected one of you just to come right out and proclaim it like that.
Mack Danyfe - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
If you were Republican, you would actually have a mind of your own.
Mack Danyfe - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
If you were Republican, you would actually have a mind of your own.
Mike Tonka - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
If you were Republican, you'd have an actual sense of humor.
Danny Wilson - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
If you were Republican, you'd know how to read, write, and do math.
Joe Longshanks - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
If you were Republican, you would understand the difference between reality and anything the fagsdykestranniesbabybutchersclimatecultists and other delusion-dwelling leftards told you.
Frank Proudfoot - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
If you were Republican, you would understand and practice actual science.
Bob Gomez - July 09, 2020 - Report this comment
I was just going to send them some masks.
Donald J. Trump - July 10, 2020 - Report this comment
Let us all unite to create a society that values hope over hate, faith over fear, and compassion over confrontation. JK LOL
Agrimorfee - July 10, 2020 - Report this comment
Hi Rick, how is the world treating you? Never mind. LOL how Oh Really took Bob so damned seriously. #thelincolnproject #trumpisnotwell
Rick Duncan - July 10, 2020 - Report this comment
My usual response is "Like a baby treats a diaper". But I'm actually feeling decent, stuck at home like the rest of us, but in a nice place. Writing songs and classical pieces. Nice to hear from a few of the old gang. Notice how some of the newer folks here can't seem to take a joke?
John Major - July 14, 2020 - Report this comment
WHAT joke? The only joke I'm seeing here is that a humorless no-talent hack like you fancies yourself a parodist.
Bob Gomez - July 15, 2020 - Report this comment
How about this one: Born in St Helier, Surrey, Major grew up in Brixton. He initially worked as an insurance clerk, and then at the London Electricity Board, before becoming an executive at Standard Chartered. He was first elected to the House of Commons at the 1979 general election as MP for Huntingdon. He served as a Parliamentary Private Secretary, Assistant Whip and as a Minister for Social Security. In 1987, he joined the Cabinet as Chief Secretary to the Treasury, and was promoted to foreign secretary two years later. Just three months later in October 1989, he was appointed chancellor of the Exchequer, where he presented the 1990 budget. Major became prime minister after Thatcher resigned in November 1990. He presided over British participation in the Gulf War in March 1991, and negotiated the Maastricht Treaty in December 1991.[1] He went on to lead the Conservatives to a record fourth consecutive electoral victory, winning the most votes in British electoral history with over 14 million votes at the 1992 general election, albeit with a reduced majority in the House of Commons. Shortly after this, in what came to be known as Black Wednesday (September 1992), his government was forced to withdraw the pound sterling from the European Exchange Rate Mechanism. This event led to a loss of confidence in Conservative economic policies and Major was never able to achieve a lead in opinion polls again. Despite the eventual revival of economic growth amongst other successes such as the beginnings of the Northern Ireland peace process, by the mid-1990s, the Conservative Party was embroiled in scandals involving various MPs (including cabinet ministers). Criticism of Major's leadership reached such a pitch that he chose to resign as party leader in June 1995, challenging his critics to either back him or challenge him; he was duly challenged by John Redwood but was easily re-elected. By this time, the Labour Party had moved toward the centre under the leadership of Tony Blair and won many by-elections, eventually depriving Major's government of a parliamentary majority in December 1996.[2] Major went on to lose the 1997 general election five months later, in one of the largest electoral defeats since the Great Reform Act of 1832.

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