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Song Parodies -> "Want No Mash"

Original Song Title:

"Monster Mash"

Original Performer:

Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers

Parody Song Title:

"Want No Mash"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Mashed potatoes. I don't like 'em.
I was looking for a snack late one night
Like some fries, a melt, but all that I
Can find here in my fridge packed and stacked so high
Is nothing sweet or mild or nice

There's only mash, I never wanted mash
I want no mash, not what I want to gnash
There's only mash, why's it all that's been cached?
There's only mash, afraid I want no mash (wah-ooh)

I don't mind potatoes as a thing to eat (wah-ooh)
Could be baked or roasted or just basic heat (wah, wah-ooh)
But mashed together? It looks really gross (wah-ooh)
The taste? It blows cause none is there, bro

Why is there mash? I'd never stock on mash
Don't want no mash, a total waste of cash
Why is there mash? I'd rather eat pure ash
Why is there mash? Afraid I want no mash (wah-ooh)

If covered in gravy, one (this is true, dah-ooh)
Could gladly eat it all up (this is true, dah-ooh)
But I know better foods, man (this is true, dah-ooh)
To pair with gravy jugs (wah-ooh)

I checked my cupboards, searched them all up and down (wah-ooh)
Cause my gut makes just the worst rumble sound (wah, wah-ooh)
I'm wracked by hunger but all that I can find (wah-ooh)
Is the same worst food, now all instant-like

More stupid mash, I never bought this mash
I want no mash, it's such a pile of trash
More stupid mash, not even meat for hash
More stupid mash, afraid I want no mash (wah-ooh)

Where are my muffins? My gourds? My drinks (wah-ooh)?
All of my cupboards and all my fridge (wah, wah-ooh)
Have had the things that had been in them nicked (wah-ooh)
What kind of asshole does that? What a giant dick

It's now all mash, I have no love for mash
Don't want no mash, if I may be so brash
It's now all mash, tempted to go Hulk smash
It's now all mash, afraid I want no mash (wah-ooh)

I need some real food, stat, not all of this crap (wah-ooh)
Never wanted mash, it's incredibly bland (wah, wah-ooh)
I'd order pizza, but smashed my phone, true (wah-ooh)
When the special du jour was the worst they could do

It's pizza mash, not just a pot of mash
Don't want no mash, the price may have been slashed
It's pizza mash, I'll throw up in a flash
It's pizza mash, afraid I want no mash (wah-ooh)

Grrr, bland mush (want no mash, wah-ooh)!
You may like it, but for me, this shit's awful (want no mash, wah-ooh)
Grrr, bland mush, mmm, sucks, mmmrrr (want no mash, wah-ooh)
Want no mash, wah-ooh
Want no mash, wah-ooh
Want no mash, wah-ooh

Sweet potato mash, on the other hand, actually has flavour to it, so I'm down for that stuff any day of the week.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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2Eagle - October 24, 2018 - Report this comment
Steaming hot mashed potatoes with butter, pepper, cheddar cheese and broccoli - yummy!
Jonathan - October 24, 2018 - Report this comment
generally, I'm more of a rice guy, myself. but when it comes to just plain buttered, I've gotta go potato! rice with gravy is the bomb, though! 5s

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