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Song Parodies -> "Monster Hash!"

Original Song Title:

"Monster Mash"

Original Performer:

Bobby "Boris" Pickett

Parody Song Title:

"Monster Hash!"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I'm not nine days late... I'm fifty-one weeks early! ~ Don't know the original? YouTube version of the original HERE

I was working as a scab late one night
(When pro writers walked, shows called ‘Am I Right’!)
Smirkin' Spaffster and The Turtle were pimping ‘Pies’
When suddenly—Dude, guys were high!

[They found my stash]
And it was Monster Hash!
[The songsters ‘flashed’]
Knocked ‘em flat on their ash
[Sar-caustic splash]
They lit up like John Tash!
[Lohan-ish lash]
Man it was Monster Hash!

In our scab’s phatte gLorry at iambic pace
Doobies drove our ditties (*there’s* ‘a-lit’ disgrace)
When Agri’s smokin’ pun-Jag fin’lly slowed
Guy meta-floored it on wry-unchecked Rhodes!

[They did the hash]
Those lids were Monster Hash!
[They’re hep-and-smashed]
It was a knave-bard thrash!
[Their writing’s wrash]
It un-buffered Phil’s cache!
[Cat felt detached]
Man it was Monster Hash!

The Hobbits were ‘halving’ fun
Michael showed Arwen his ‘puns’
Possessed included Airfarce,
PMS and Malcom

Ob-scenely schlockin’, Dee proposin’ ‘sex psalms’
Spaffster’s mad mood mellowed to a dot.calm
The Down-Under Duo, Stu and Kris, contrived
To sell writer’s bloc—as SPF five!

[They did the hash]
And it was Songster Thrash!
[El Cid-like stash]
It was a ‘rave-bard’ mash!
[They did the hash]
Though they were called ‘Write Trash’!
[Their tenses clashed]
‘Cause it was Monster Hash!

Floutin’ his scoffin’, Red Ant’s voice cleared maw
Seems he was troubled by points of law
He jacked Jenkin’s lid then rolled his eyes
And said, “Vhatever happened to let’s ‘de-crim-in-al-ize’?”

[It’s still banned hash]
Illegal Monster Hash!
[Black-market stash]
And just for brave bards brash!
[So save some cash]
And Rex lay off Johnny's stash
[Must we rehash]
Or with some Narcs you’ll clash!

Now everything’s cool, Crack’s a part of the plan
With Meth and ‘X’, all we’ll need’s a ‘straight’ man
Just kiddin’ Mac—'Ditty’s' all we ‘do’
When you net-skew wry lore tell them Barry s’hemped ewe

[Then you’ll abash]
Abash with sarco-slash
[A Monster Bash]
And write a Bo-Rap smash
[Then you can trash]
Politicos en masse
[And make a splash]
When you submit your bash

Oooooooo! Bash lewd! Bash lewd!


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Hahahahahaha! Truly inspirational, TJC (or is that just the weed talkin'?)...the set-up was inherently funny, and you knocked it out of the park with some crazy rhyming, and shameless name-dropping. Wunderbah! 555
Agrimorfee - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I was very worried when I saw the title, as it has been done before in other parodies, but I was pleasantly pleased and giggled hugely! (and not just because I was in party!). Wondrous rhyme skillin' here, I'm envious. 555
alvin - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
unchecked rhodes checking in....sounds like quite the hash bash....not surprised i don't remember parody !
Red Ant - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Dude, like, seriously awesome work =) Spaff.calm and writer's bloc as SPF 5 were my favorite gets. Funny throughout and as Kristof said, some crazy rhyming. Thanks for the shout-out as well! Big 5s
McKludge - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
This is truly inspired lunacy. I hope Phil feels better now that his cache is unbuffered. I hear there's a medicine you can take for that. 555
Ann Hammond - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
The Ians' Version of \ - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Over the top brilliance, TJC, although most of the insider names go over our head. Here is The Ians version of 'Monster Hash, #2 on the All Time Comedy Chart at
Jack Wilson - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
That was HILARIOUS! 5s
Below Average Dave ( - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Well that was certainly different. . .I think I know most of the names you dropped in there. . .hmmm .. . .I usually don't check in to things like this, but it seemed interesting, sorry I missed the party. . .I was running from a Quack
Phil Alexander - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, at least you didn't make a hash of it :-)
TJC - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks so much all for votes & comments... I'm truly sorry for leaving a lot of the regular 'heads' out.... tried like hell to get you all loaded but those with multi-syllable names were most difficult to work into the b... er song!
Below Average Dave ( - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
TJC. . .No matter how hard you tried, I don't think you could have possibly fit my name in there. . .I mean I'm not upset at all, I like reading about other parodists, I have enough experience as far as knowledge of myself. . .Besides, when I choose "Below Average Dave" I kinda knew beforehand I'd be making it hard to use for a parody (and that was partially because I knew I'd be releasing non-parodies also that potentially could be parodied. . .so far no one has tried to parody my non-parodies which is good, I think doing a parody of my music would be very difficult. . .)
Guy - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the shout out. My name has so many possibilities both first and last. And `Guy` just isn't the hardest one to fit in. Best MM on the site and I've written several myself that pale to this gem. Well done TJC.

Three times fives
In those small nickle bags
You'll get 15
You'll be stoned to your seems
So now get smashed
You won't be actin' real rash
Smoke the monster hash
AFW - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Premium job of spoofing and writing, here... a blockbuster...
John Barry - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Fantastic subs. In fact, fantastic all around.
Project Sisyphus - November 09, 2007 - Report this comment
You mean, you couldn't work "Project Sisyphus" in? OK, I'm changing my name to...Kristof Spaff Barry. 555 for spoofing the amirighters so eloquently.
TJC - November 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks BAD, Guy, AF, John & Project S! And if you want to read the IMHO gold standard, try John Barry's version (search Monster Mash, look for 'Coup de Grace')--its incredible (and incredibly risque)! Thanks again all...
Boris Badenough - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
You're all off to jail, till you lie in your grave
Eating Hammond eggs with Below Av'rage Dave
Cop swings McKludgel with powerful thrust
"Hit the road, Jack! Well,-son, Project Sissy-fuss, Bust!"

555 years.
Alpha Skua - March 03, 2022 - Report this comment
We serve the Hash, we serve the Monster Hash

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