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Song Parodies -> "Eva Longoria"

Original Song Title:

"Eve of Destruction"

Original Performer:

Barry McGuire

Parody Song Title:

"Eva Longoria"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

The "Weekly World" - it's your religion
That and tabloid - television
You read the gossip rags - with no derision
You watched the Jackson trial - agreed with their decision
Your lack of skepticism needs - supervision

But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria?!

Yes, I understand - that I'm - kinda obsessed
& Yes, I crave her show - and - watch it undressed
But I swear we're in love - it's a big nookie-fest
And my Housewife confessed - my mad skillz are the best
But I never would have guessed
That YOU'D be unimpressed

And you'd tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria!

Yeah, you still believe - there's al-i-en abduction
And Diet Coke - aids - weight reduction
We'll still find Saddam's - wea-pons of mass destruction
Brad and Angelina - ain't tried reproduction
Survivor's a real - unscripted production
Medicinal pot's - worth - a tax deduction
And J. Lo's caboose - ain't had liposuction

But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria?!

Why the heck would YOU - suspect we're not dating?
I've never met someone - so indiscriminating
You claim you still like - fat-free mayonnaise
One gunman could cause - deaths like JFK's
Your drive-a-Hummer craze - don't raise UV rays
You can cure all the gays - including Sean Hayes
You're the last one buying - that alibi of OJ's

Don't tell me
Over and over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria!

Um, please please, some-ONE believe
I'm bonkin' Eva Longoria?!
(c) 2005+ Desperate Spaff

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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DKTOS? - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't Know The Original Song? It's temporarily available at
Dee Range - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you for putting this out before I spent any more time on my version of this, called THE EVE OF CREATION. This is ten times better than anything I had going. And you can have Ms Longoria...Terry Hatcher and I think you make a cute couple :-))
Rick C - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm surprised at you , Spaffer! I told her NO!
alvin rhodes - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day...5s
Stuart McArthur - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
well, you lined em all up, and you shot em all down here, Spaff - hit all targets bulls-eye, but don't tell ME Survivor's scripted (and if it is, I don't want to know)....and if you're bonking Eva, well, I don't want to know that either (sniff - she seems like such an innocent) - 555
John Barry - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny and educational. I didn't know who EL was until now.
Lee (Harvey Oswald killed like) OJ - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Tremendous as a pair of Hollywood boobs (or even a whole cast of them). Impressive '-uction' and '-aise' rhyme sequences. You've done it again!
Kristof Robertson - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll believe you, long as you talk her into starring in my remake of "The Story of O"....555
Ethan Mawyer - June 16, 2005 - Report this comment
The mystery of the Spaff has been solved - he is San Antonio point guard Tony Parker. Now there are two new mysteries - how does he find the time and who was that guy from the Robert Lund TV feature? (the one who isn't robert lund)
Michael Pacholek - June 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I cracked up the instant I saw the title and the author. I knew it would be JUST THAT FUNNY. I swear, I did. And you came through. Now, I've been a Teri Hatcher fan for a long time (roughly since her 1988 appearance on "Star Trek: The Next Generation"), but Eva Longoria makes a pretty good Roger Maris to her Mickey Mantle. But there is one ahead of Teri on my would-be "depth chart." Tell ya what, Spaff, I'll make a deal with ya: I'll get you hooked up with Eva if you'll find a way to split up Catherine Zeta-Jones and her sugar granddaddy. (Yeah, right. I'm good, but I'm not THAT good!)
Jack Wilson - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
LOVED IT! 555! - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry to stay away so long, y'all - as E-Thang revealed, I was busy beating the Pistons. (By the way, "beating the pistons" is my new favorite euphemism.)

Dee Hatched: "Eve of Creation" - heh heh. Stop beating the pistons and WRITE IT.

Ricksy: When she ordered you to stop beating the pistons? I can relate.

scholar rhodes: It's always an honor to win the "Favorite of Alvin Rhodes Today" (F.A.R.T.) award. More fun than beating the pistons.

s2art: Just keep telling yourself that about both Survivor or Eva. I won't burst your bubble. Certainly you've accepted by now, however, that Portia DeRossi has switched teams. I think it was skinny-dipping with Elle MacPherson in "Sirens" that pushed her over the edge, so I really can't blame her. (That scene is great for beating the pistons, by the way.)

Johnglebarry: I'm honored to have participated in your education. Use your newfound EL knowledge wisely (like I do - to beat the pistons).

Leonardo DeJay: Done what? Beat the pistons?

Overlord Kristof: With John Barry's "E.L." and your "O." there should be a joke there somewhere. But I can't find it - I'm too busy beating the pistons.

E-Thang: That's the real Tony Parker. He's a white dude with glasses. They had to cut all the scenes of me because of the incessant piston-beating.

Michaelopedia: Let me get this straight: If CZJ splits up with MD, you'll hook me up with EL? Well A-OK! (And that thought really makes me wanna beat the pistons.)

Local Celebrity: THANX! [Background sounds of pistons being beaten.]

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