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Song Parodies -> "Hello Philip, Nice Armada"
Original Song Title:
"Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah"
Original Performer:
Allan Sherman
Parody Song Title:
"Hello Philip, Nice Armada"
Parody Written by:
John Jenkins
The Lyrics
In 1588, King Philip II of Spain sent an "invincible" Armada of 130 ships and 30,000 soldiers and sailors to invade England. If the outcome of this battle had been different, we might now be writing our parodies in Spanish and submitting them to estoicorrecto.com. When Queen Elizabeth I learned that the Armada was approaching, she began to write this letter:
Hello Philip, nice Armada.
Is that your whole enchilada?
With all those ships you have waiting,
Maybe we should spend more time negotiating.
You want to pro-duce kings for us,
We think that's a bunch of Taurus.
But you come with your Spanish ships
Because you think the Pope checkmates our Archbishops.
You proposed that I should marry ya,
I would rather catch malaria.
To keep England finely Tudor-ed,
I would gladly have your Spanish peanut neutered.
Trust me I would never wed you,
I would prefer to behead you.
I'm warning you to be wary
Because that's how I got rid of cousin Mary.
Please go home, if you don't vanish, the new world might get more Spanish.
Then if you win with your Armada, New York might be New Granada.
Please go home, or I will continue to make knights out of buccaneers like Drake.
So, please, just go away, or knights will make my day.
Now the battle is beginning
And it looks like we are winning
Our small ships are too fast for yours,
And we've scared off all your big, brave Spanish warriors.
As your galleons glumly retreat,
There's one blessing in your defeat.
Since you won't be claiming stakes here,
Your students won't have to study William Shakespeare.
Is that your whole enchilada?
With all those ships you have waiting,
Maybe we should spend more time negotiating.
You want to pro-duce kings for us,
We think that's a bunch of Taurus.
But you come with your Spanish ships
Because you think the Pope checkmates our Archbishops.
You proposed that I should marry ya,
I would rather catch malaria.
To keep England finely Tudor-ed,
I would gladly have your Spanish peanut neutered.
Trust me I would never wed you,
I would prefer to behead you.
I'm warning you to be wary
Because that's how I got rid of cousin Mary.
Please go home, if you don't vanish, the new world might get more Spanish.
Then if you win with your Armada, New York might be New Granada.
Please go home, or I will continue to make knights out of buccaneers like Drake.
So, please, just go away, or knights will make my day.
Now the battle is beginning
And it looks like we are winning
Our small ships are too fast for yours,
And we've scared off all your big, brave Spanish warriors.
As your galleons glumly retreat,
There's one blessing in your defeat.
Since you won't be claiming stakes here,
Your students won't have to study William Shakespeare.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 0 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 16 | 18 | 17 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I like this, John
Great write Juan, er I mean John. This is parody as fine as parody gets. Loved every word and it is as funny as the original. Straight up 5's.
Brilliant parody. Great Play on a song from the master himself (allen sherman)!
Oh yeah! This is one sweet parody. Very well thought out . . . Very nice throughout.
I was skimming through today - saw the title and had to check this one out first. I wasn't disappointed! A winner - I love history parodies - this is sort of a parodic version of "1066 and All That." :-D
My first comment from home.... and what a song to comment on. Superb, JJ- original and brilliant.
I like. You win me over with Shermanator and history lesson.
five five fiv, you really earn it, five five five, you show you're learn-ed, we should strive, to write a parody, just half, as magnificently
Forsooth! Britannia rules the fives! Except there was no New York yet, and it wouldn't even be New Netherland until 1624. And the future Good Queen Bess didn't "off" Bloody Mary. But who cares! Like Elizabeth I, this rules! If this doesn't win Parody of the Month, I'll know the vote counting will have had some Spanish interference -- the Miami Cuban kind.
Thank you Royce, Guy, James, David, Meriadoc, Phil, Rick, Ethan, and Michael. Meriadoc, I had not heard of “1066 and All That,” but it sounds like my kind of book and I’m going to read it. Phil, I was hoping that the English amiright constituents would read this without discovering any glaring errors. Ethan, I appreciate the good impromptu Sherman-type lyrics. And MP, you know your history, especially New York’s history. Of course, New York did not come into being until 1664 – 76 years after the Spanish Armada battle - and I am hoping that this can be considered a humorous anachronism. But there were two Marys. Bloody Mary was Elizabeth’s sister (married briefly to Philip II) who died of natural causes in 1558, when Elizabeth became queen. Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots, was Elizabeth’s cousin; and, when she was implicated in a Catholic plot to overthrow the queen, Elizabeth did “off” her by signing the death warrant to have her beheaded in 1587. Ironically, Elizabeth was the last Tudor monarch and she was succeeded in 1603 by James I, the son of the woman she beheaded.
Ooops! Sorry John, I gave you the wrong title. I was thinking of William Cuppy's "The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody." It was written in 1950, but at least he was savvy enough to know that William the Conqueror did NOT have a daughter named Gundred. Enough said. I think you will enjoy reading it.
You don't know "1066 and all that", JJ- go out and get it, it's a GOOD THING And that reminds me, I was going to do a "which Mary's which" parody a while back, as a sort of aide-memoire for the historically challenged. Should still have the research notes around somewhere...
I recently read a book on the Stuart dynasty, and the author, himself a Scotsman (I've forgotten his name), said it was incredibly ironic that, while the ruling house of all Britain is descended from Henry VII, there are no living descendants of his son Henry VIII -- no legitimate ones, anyway. They're all descended from the sister of Henry VIII, who married James IV of Scotland. Elizabeth I won the "war" with her Scottish (actually half-French) cousin, but in the long term, she lost, as she had no one to whom should could pass the crown. It is the descendants of Marie Reine that have reigned for 400 years.
Thank you for all of the book suggestions. I have started the Decline and Fall of Practically Everything (very clever, but I have not found 1066 & All That, yet). They both seem like the same style as Richard Armour, who wrote It All Started with Columbus, It All Started with Stones and Clubs, Twisted Tales From Shakespeare, The Classics Reclassified, and several others, which I also recommend. Phil, I hope you finish your "Which Mary" parody.
AAAAHHH !! How'd I miss THIS one? It's fantastic! 555 "We think that’s a bunch of Taurus" ..... lots of great lines, LOL! Well done, JJ.
Thank you, JD.
John J -Ingenious use of the original song here! Congrats on a superb job and thanks for the History lesson as well!! "estoicorrecto.com", eh?? And the 3 stooges would be what, "Los Tres Schiflados"? or something like that, I guess. (anybody know for sure if that's right, or for that matter, even close?)
John J -Ingenious use of the original song here! Congrats on a superb job and thanks for the History lesson as well!! "estoicorrecto.com", eh?? And the 3 stooges would be what, "Los Tres Schiflados"? or something like that, I guess. (anybody know for sure if that's right, or for that matter, even close?)
Great job, John! This was a fun read!
John, good luck in the March SOTM. I predict that this song will score well in the competition.
LOL....5's and good luck in the SOTM competition.
Excellent stuff as usual, Johnkins. Help me out with the bridge - which line is the sub for "Don't leave me out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear"? Not a criticism - I just wanna make sure I get this right.
Spaff - the sub is "Then if you win with your Armada, New York might be New Granada" (both 17 syllables). For the next two lines, I was going to use:
Please go home, I promise I will not have sex or mess around with the Aztecs.
Because, as you have seen, I'm just the "Virgin Queen."
This would have matched the original more closely, but made it more difficult to conclude the parody.
Please go home, I promise I will not have sex or mess around with the Aztecs.
Because, as you have seen, I'm just the "Virgin Queen."
This would have matched the original more closely, but made it more difficult to conclude the parody.
Gotcha. If (in that line) I accentuate the third syllable in both armada and Granada, it works for me. Sorry to get hung up on this when there are so many more pressing matters in the world. Excellent parody.
Late as usual from Pippin, sorry. I really enjoyed this, John, I thought it was very well done!
Another one I voted on before but never commented. Great stuff, John; especially liked the "for yours/ warriors" rhyme.
Excellent packaging for a history lesson. Right up there with Allan Sherman's 'Old King Louie' parody. But then what else could we expect from a king in silk stocking and pink satin pants?
GOLD MEDALIST
http://inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,24.0
http://inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,24.0
Somewhere in the middle, the pacing was lost. 4-5-5. My favorite line: Since you won’t be claiming stakes here, Your students won’t have to study William Shakespeare.
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=1324;image
"To keep England finely Tudor-ed, I would gladly have your Spanish peanut neutered." Great stuff, Johnkins. Well worth a re-read or two. (And a re-vote.)
One of my favorite history lessons. Still very much enjoying this one, John.
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