Hello Philip, nice Armada.
Is that your whole enchilada?
With all those ships you have waiting,
Maybe we should spend more time negotiating.

You want to pro-duce kings for us,
We think that's a bunch of Taurus.
But you come with your Spanish ships
Because you think the Pope checkmates our Archbishops.

You proposed that I should marry ya,
I would rather catch malaria.
To keep England finely Tudor-ed,
I would gladly have your Spanish peanut neutered.

Trust me I would never wed you,
I would prefer to behead you.
I'm warning you to be wary
Because that's how I got rid of cousin Mary.

Please go home; if you don't vanish, the new world might get more Spanish.
Then if you win with your Armada, New York might be New Granada.
Please go home, or I will continue to make knights out of buccaneers like Drake.
Then, if you choose to stay, these knights will make my day.

Now the battle is beginning
And it looks like we are winning
Our small ships are too fast for yours,
And we've scared off all your big, brave Spanish warriors.

As your galleons glumly retreat,
There's one blessing in your defeat.
Since you won't be claiming stakes here,
Your students won't have to study William Shakespeare.