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Song Parodies -> "Hello Philip, Nice Armada"

Original Song Title:

"Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah"

Original Performer:

Allan Sherman

Parody Song Title:

"Hello Philip, Nice Armada"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

In 1588, King Philip II of Spain sent an "invincible" Armada of 130 ships and 30,000 soldiers and sailors to invade England. If the outcome of this battle had been different, we might now be writing our parodies in Spanish and submitting them to When Queen Elizabeth I learned that the Armada was approaching, she began to write this letter:
Hello Philip, nice Armada.
Is that your whole enchilada?
With all those ships you have waiting,
Maybe we should spend more time negotiating.

You want to pro-duce kings for us,
We think that's a bunch of Taurus.
But you come with your Spanish ships
Because you think the Pope checkmates our Archbishops.

You proposed that I should marry ya,
I would rather catch malaria.
To keep England finely Tudor-ed,
I would gladly have your Spanish peanut neutered.

Trust me I would never wed you,
I would prefer to behead you.
I'm warning you to be wary
Because that's how I got rid of cousin Mary.

Please go home; if you don't vanish, the new world might get more Spanish.
Then if you win with your Armada, New York might be New Granada.
Please go home, or I will continue to make knights out of buccaneers like Drake.
Then, if you choose to stay, these knights will make my day.

Now the battle is beginning
And it looks like we are winning
Our small ships are too fast for yours,
And we've scared off all your big, brave Spanish warriors.

As your galleons glumly retreat,
There's one blessing in your defeat.
Since you won't be claiming stakes here,
Your students won't have to study William Shakespeare.
This parody was originally submitted 3 years ago, but I am re-submitting with one modified line to submit for possible inclusion in Chucky's possible new book.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   2
 5   9

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
I thought it looked familiar :-) But it's worth more votes this time around, too.
wildwest - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Pretty darn good.
AFW - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Hard to resist humerous history..
Rex - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
I wasn't here 3 years ago, so I'm glad you reposted. Loved the Taurus line among many others...555.
Major General Johnny D - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Bravo, Sir Jenkins! Bravo indeed!!
Paul Robinson - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Thought it looked familiar...and at first I'm going, "Hey, this guy is ripping off John Jenkins...wait! This IS John Jenkins...". So I'm glad you posted the explanatory note at the bottom...I can't handle too much "Deja Vu" in one day, you know...makes me queasy...So many excellent and clever lines...this is a wonderful piece...history & humor both nail tight here. 5's any time I see this one.
Stuart McArthur - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
ah, nice to revisit a classic - and famous for being the first ever winner of SOTM, when it was just a fledgling idea, if I'm not mistaken (before the retro-votes for previously missed months I think) - and for that alone it should get in Chucky's book JJ, not to mention the quality of the writing - 555
Ann Hammond - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
love it
John Jenkins - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments and votes and for those who remembered it. Yes, Stu, it did win the first SOTM, but I think you have won about 10 or 15 since then.
Wolverine - March 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent. As someone new to the site, thanks for resubmitting.

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