Fake cherry, yeesh, not something I would eat
Never that hungry, they're so totally gross
Texture is off and the taste is plain wrong
You like them? Sorry, man, I really don't
Hate when they're buried in my choc'late like a landmine for me
The rest of the Rocky Road's delicious, so sweet, must this "fruit" be? Ooh

Fake cherry, I get people don't like pits
But all this cursed jelly feels like a no-good replacement
Keep these red droppings off (off) my biscuits, nasty lumps
Damn fake cherries, can't there be something else, be something else now?

Can say I should shut up since I whine
About something that I can easily avoid
Can't get so mad 'bout what I think tastes bad
And also you found out: real cherries? Don't enjoy
So it's a total first world problem, why the whole song from me?
Well, trust me, I get your point but sometimes I need to vent in peace, ooh

Fake cherry, when I spot one, I must spit
Get out my mouth, jelly, you have tainted my ice-cream bliss
Sorry I take too long (long) checking the menu, sucks (sucks)
Damn fake cherries, can't there be something else, be something else now?

Fake cherry, yeesh, fake cherry
Fake cherry, yeesh, fake cherry
Hate 'em so much, I never bothered to learn how they're made, see
It turns out that it's a genuine cherry piece, boiled, sugar-steeped
Ooh

Fake cherry but it's not that fake, is it?
Not made out of jelly, man, I feel like a total twit
Though my words were quite wrong (wrong) but my tastebuds were not (not)
Damn fake cherries, can't there be something else, be something else now?