Least three times a day, maybe five
You reach for some change to try
To make a little bet because you spied another dope
"You see that guy, bro? Nose is stuck (ah-ah-ah)
In a book, so I'll put down five (ah-ah)
Bucks that he'll go thunk, thunk, thunk (ah-ah-ah)
Into a street sign (ah)"
No, I won't do that, bud
Won't put my five-spot down
You do this ev'ry time
Sick of it, right

A wager nut, that's you, ain't right
You throw your bucks up too quick, I find
A wager nut, hope that you'll wind
Up with a bit more cash, would be fine
Except the pauses, they never come
You never stop until it's bedtime
Real wager nut, you wager nut
Wager nut

"Will birds hit that pane of glass? Five
Bucks say they'll be in such hurt"
Wipe that smirk off your face, cause I don't find that funny, no (oh-ah-oh)
Place bets on sports night? That's all right (ah-ah-ah)
But on folks' pain, I just don't like (ah-ah)
Don't care if you rise, rise, rise (ah-ah-ah)
What the bet's worth, ain't right (ah)
I don't care if that schmuck (I don't care if that schmuck)
There ends up fallin' down (ends up fallin' down)
That open manhole, I (that open manhole, I)
Hope he'll be right

A wager nut, it just ain't right
To throw the bucks up cause of some plight
A wager nut, you may be right
That he'll fail at doors, but keep your five
Bucks, I don't want part of this, it's rot
Why won't you stop? Your whole schtick is shite
Real wager nut, you wager nut
Wager nut

Bets on how a film turns out?
On that, I'd put all my cash down
But all your crap just makes me cry
Way you spy on real life
"Bet that guy will soon choke down
On that coffee" That ain't right
You may think I lack a spine
I just think you're shite
A wager nut (wager nut)
Real wager nut (wager nut)
You wager nut

A wager nut, don't think it's right
Stop throwin' bucks up at each sad sight
A wager nut, won't bet they'll die
Good that you abhor that, it's still shite
The way you plop down a twenty-spot
In case some clot gets poked in the eye
Real wager nut (wager nut), you wager nut (wager nut)
Wager nut