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Song Parodies -> "Stuck on Toffee"

Original Song Title:

"Kamikaze"

Original Performer:

Walk The Moon

Parody Song Title:

"Stuck on Toffee"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

There's "sugary treats are bad for you" and then there's "because they might rip all your teeth out"...
With ev'ry chew
Of this snack that I'm eatin', fear my gums are bleedin'
From the tooth
Currently dislodgin', that ain't what I'm needin'
But I can tell from that brief side-eye
That you think the fault's partly mine
Was my choice for dessert tonight
That ain't wrong but all the rest ain't right (stupid)

Thesis here is shoddy 'cause I'm not where the fault is
Bein' stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)
The quality is awful, I want a refund for it
Bein' stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)
Did your chef make this? Should be fired
Buy it in? Better cut off those guys (useless)
'Cause my jaw ain't floppy thanks to this sweet that's cloggin'
Awful bein' stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)

Ow! Uh, oh, I, oh, I

What can be done?
Like to be eatin' in the future, breathin'
Would be fun
To have more than soup now, can't subsist on drinkin'
Sure, I could lick the thing down to size
I'm not sure if I have the time
And the noises I would make, yikes
Even more of a freak, I'd look like (doofus)

Yes, I'm kinda stroppy because I never wanted
To be stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)
It's more than just a problem, my molars, gonna pop 'em
Bein' stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)
My jaw muscles are sore and tired
'Cause it isn't only on one side (bullshit)
Future's lookin' rocky 'cause of the way it clogs me
Awful bein' stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)

Ow! Oh, I, oh, I
Uh

Well, if I'm left with this stuck inside
Should be happy the taste is nice
Know it's gonna straight last all night
As I gargle while it melts, no lie
Look like I embody stereotypes you must get
In rude diet guides, they're funny if you are a douche, so stop it
Nothin' on the menu had any damn warnin' on it
So now I'm stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)

Go ahead, be snobby on how my jaw is locked in
Bein' stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)
That's just one bone, the others are free to knock your block in
They're not stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)
Folks around don't think it's that dire
May be so but it's still pretty shite (bullshit)
I'll drip sugar on me before I rip teeth from me
Gonna stay here stuck on toffee (oh, I, oh, I)

I can't remember the last time I actually had toffee, though I do have a distinct memory of dislodging it with my fingers 'cause it really felt like it was gonna take some teeth out. The point is is that on the next AmIRight update? MY 3100TH PARODY!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   14
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