Caliphate, oh caliphate
Where they don't drink any beer
Loppin' heads off the infidels
And they'll shoot you if you're queer

But if you go to the caliphate
You will live in fear
Kurds and Christians and Shiites, too
Might soon disappear

Caliphate, it's a police state
'Cause republics are too lax
You won't forget just how bad it gets
If you can't afford your tax

But if you go to the caliphate
Justice is severe
They might cut off your hand today
Or brand you on your rear

The sanguinarians, since the invasion
Are busy setting car bombs
Are busy setting off bombs blown up
In a big crowded supermarket

They march around with A. K.'s
A dystopian death-squad display
Their deeds so awful they've turned
All of the history books gray

They've got guns, they've got poison spray
And a billion dollars' cash
If you don't follow their commands
They're gonna kick your ass

But if you go to the caliphate
Your death will draw near
They're expanding with each new day
It's been an awful year