Big party Friday night?
I'd love to come, but I
Have plans to carve toads out of wood
A lame excuse, but see
I'm flustered easily
And so my words don't come out good
"Sounds cool, but my cat just exploded, so I can't, okay?"

I've got shoes in the oven, have to fix my fan
It's blastin' swarms of flies at me, I swear, man
Sorry, sorry, I can't come Friday night
I'm s'pposed to meet my grandmother, cause she's undercover
Tradin' in F-16 wings and pink folders
Sorry, sorry, wish I could deny
Without a stream of lies

I keep avoiding things
By claiming I've got stings
From insects I pulled from a book (a fiction book)
Set up an Iron Man
Film marathon? Sounds grand
But I've got beetle stew to cook
"Sounds cool, but my dog needs an iron, so I can't, okay?"

I've got grass snakes to untie, gotta slay a giant
Find a squirrel, feed it nuts and call it Simon
Sorry, sorry, I can't come Friday night
I've got auras to centre, clowns in my bath tub
Gonna whack 'em with a bent golf club
Sorry, sorry, wish I could reply
Without the heap of lies

I'd love to have an awesome time with you
But ev'ry invitation makes me spew crud
Not that I want to
"Sounds cool, but my bird ate my homework, so I can't, okay?"
"Sounds cool, but my fish conquered Europe, so I can't, okay?"

I left my car keys in space, plus I made big plans
To go to the North Pole and get a suntan
Sorry, sorry, I can't come Friday night
Because my large pet gorilla got loose in a villa
And I promised I'd lure it with vanilla
Sorry, sorry, I have to deny
Cause I just stole a floodlight from a group of Mayans
Gonna find me with their horde of vegan lions
Sorry, sorry, I can't come Friday night
I've got fanfic to censor, huge bag of hot nuts
Gonna eat 'em while watchin' Hot Fuzz
Sorry, sorry, my constant reply
Is just a load of lies