I found a heavy load, it's true
Thought that you'd like it if I hefted it round and round
Now my back hurts all the time, my method of deliverance
Was a teeny bit insane
I'm not known for liftin' weights, oh no

Stupid thought, stupid thought (I'm such a moron)
"I'll lug this to your home (to prove that I'm not weak)
Should prove that I'm not weak (screw the pain in my knees)"
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

This is too much work
Is my back supposed to bend so much this way? That knowledge ain't in my brain
Can't go back upon my word, ooh-ooh-ooh
I won't turn back, it would suck to make vertebrae go "crunch"
With zero results to back it up, so I'm gonna take more steps, ignore the pain growth

I'm not strong, I'm not strong (can't lift this damn thing)
A fact I should've known (plain to all that I'm weak)
Only shows how I'm weak (even blind men can see)
Oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

And buddy, if I knew
That I'd hear creaks from my knees
They sound like a haunted house gone nuts
I would have put this in my truck
So much pain in my palms
These hard corners really cut
I feel like such a dope, ooh
Least this way saves on petrol, though
Ain't a lot, ain't a lot, ain't a lot

Ain't a lot (ooh-ooh-ooh), ain't a lot (small silver lining)
Need silver linings, so (nothin' drops in the street)
I don't drop in the street (both the payload and me)
Oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (oh, buddy, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Worth a lot, worth a lot (hurts, think my back wants out of my flesh) (huge crate of diamonds) (oh)
This crate of diamonds, so (hurts, barely managed to move ten steps) (pay for my doctor's fee)
They'll pay my doctor's fee (won't let you cover me)
Oh-oh (buddy), oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, hey)