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Song Parodies -> "Not Moving My Lips"

Original Song Title:

"Something Just like This"

Original Performer:

The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

Parody Song Title:

"Not Moving My Lips"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "How We Do It" self-challenge. We are both ventriloquists, ventriloquists, ventriloquists, we are both ventriloquists and we practice every day. He carries the baskets! He carries the paper roll! And we don't have cysts! But one thing is for sure my friends: we are ventriloquists!
It's a basic skill, I'm told, but one that people miss
When you don't have an old felt puppet on your wrist
On the floor, I roll when they fall for the trick
Don't do it for the cash, no, just kind of a dick
Cause they say "Where'd that old dude go? I thought that one neck twist
Would show him to be behind me, did he fade into the mist?"
Always have zero clue, not one faint hint
That it's not ancient voodoo, I'm a ventriloquist
No, I'm not moving my lips

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-oo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
'Fraid so, I'm not moving my lips
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-oo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Hell no, I'm not moving my lips

No, I'm not moving my lips
Ah-ah

I can get people to fold at poker cause they'll think
Their parents or their old boss is watching them drink
You could say that that's cold, that much I will admit
I say it's on them for being total twits
Look at how wide their eyes go, how quick their necks'll twist
Because they think that their crush is watching them drunkenly piss
I never feel low, always aim my hits
I punch up, only trick dudes who are absolute pricks
So I'm not moving my lips

No, I'm not moving my lips
Ah-ah

'Fraid so, I'm not moving my lips
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-oo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-oo-oo
Hell no, I'm not moving my lips
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-oo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-oo-oo

Spill my secret? Don't, it's how I get my kicks
Cause without it, all I've got is throwing very heavy bricks
Right at random folks, fair square in their bits
And you don't want that, do you? That's right, that would be shit
I'll keep not moving my lips

'Fraid so, I'm not moving my lips
Hell no, I'm not moving my lips
'Fraid so, I'm not moving my lips

We are both ventriloquists and now we're upside down. I swing a bit more! I swing a bit less! But we both swing if you know what we mean...

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