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Song Parodies -> "#HEALTHY"

Original Song Title:

"#SELFIE"

Original Performer:

The Chainsmokers

Parody Song Title:

"#HEALTHY"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2014 self-challenge. I ain't eatin' that crap, it'll destroy what little remains of my digestive system!
All this food on the table
I can't eat any of this, you see, why must you make me suffer, jerk?
Man, I think that you're just doin' this to make me piss off
Because I can totally see you pull this shite, that's right
If you don't know why I can't eat this grub right up
So...like, where to start, prick?
All this meat is way too greasy
Why the hell'd you even bring that here?
Can't eat that, jerk
You plain borked this whole spread, I'm not happy
Sweet tortillas?
I looked at the salad, I think that it's been infected with pumpkin-spice madness
You should know that I'm allergic to that damn spice, you idiot
You really screwed up
You jerk, none of this is healthy

None of this is healthy

Do I spy bread that's chocolate-covered?
I don't know if that's disgusting, a dumb joke or ingenious
At least it's not bland
But all my arteries are closing up in terror
Freaking out cause the celery sticks taste like bricks
I only took one bite, but it all tastes awful
Really think you should throw it out
Cause I don't think that it's healthy

Healthy, healthy, none of this is healthy

Wait, pause, you just said it's all healthy?
Kidding me
You mean this pasta with the hair
Yeah, the one next to the steak with cream cheese sauce
Would beat salad
In a "best food for you" contest?
You definitely hogged the drugs in that case, knock it off
You've ruined my Monday
OK, think I'll make a call
Oh no, ugh, my mobile signal's acting up
Oh wait, nevermind, it's fine
That was crap
I won't eat what's on this table
Say, what's your fav'rite pizza place?
Oh my God, I know that's real greasy
But it's better than this
It's relatively more healthy
Healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy
Healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy, none of this is healthy

None of this is healthy

None of this is healthy

None of this is healthy

Really surprised that The Chainsmokers were able to build a genuine career for themselves when their first song was this pile of crap. I mean, their songs have only risen to the level of "generic EDM" but hey, at least they're not painfully stupid novelty nonsense. It wishes it could be as insightful and poetic as The Fox. Okay, I'm done.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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 3   1
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 4   0
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