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Song Parodies -> "Hate to Climb Rungs"

Original Song Title:

"If I Die Young"

Original Performer:

The Band Perry

Parody Song Title:

"Hate to Climb Rungs"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Dude doesn't like ladders. Fairly self-evident, methinks.
Hate to climb rungs way up on a ladder
I'll fall down cause I'm kinda hopeless
See the way I quiver? Can't stop
I'll make a stain on the floor cause I will drop
Oh-oh, oh-oh

I'm not scared of heights, though that still remains a problem
It compounds my issues rather than the real source of 'em, oh, damn
Seems you're forcin' me up or you won't pay me, so
Hope you can take all the sweat stains I'm makin'
I can't hide cause my shirt's white, a-well
My glands work overtime

Hate to climb rungs on any sized ladder
Fallin' down cause I cannot focus
The way my hands quiver, can't stop
Add those sweat stains and it's certain I will drop
I don't like climbin' up high, a-well
I can't grip hard, I'll fly

I don't think my feet like that weird kind of skinny steppin'
Always really short steps, shoes or no shoes, whatever, I
Cannot hold onto those tiny slats
And the shakes that I have really don't help with that
I collapse on the ground thanks to my constant tremors
Don't shout at me, can't weather all that pressure, I
Know that I can't make that hike, a-well
Can't stand it, both ways, right

I know that you're annoyed, but I swear I'll hurl
That'll be real hard to mop
In fact, give me the mop, I'll go and be the best floor swabber
I'll haul ev'ry box 'til my core is stronger
I'll be the best cashier with customers bitchin'
Even though my legs wish that I was quittin'

Hate to climb rungs, just can't handle ladders
I'll drop down with no kind of notice
My whole body quivers, can't stop
So many stains, wish it was only sweat ones

Oh-oh, oh-oh, beg you, don't send me up (oh-oh)
I'll slip or get stuck
Okay, yes, there's fear, wasn't the start of it
Just that over time my quirks grew into it, really, oh
I don't like makin' that hike, a-well
Yes, that's just one step high
You sure I can't avoid this? No? Watch me hurl

If I die young, clearly there's some time travel nonsense going on cause I turned 29 a week ago. Though I guess what counts as "young" is relative.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

the_copout_of_parodies - March 10, 2020 - Report this comment
Dear Seth, You must have a LOT of time on your hands to be posting crappy parodies every day. 🤔👎🏻🤮. (PS we all know it was you who wrote the parody “I Wont’t Kiss Ass” under the pseudonym ‘Anonymous Parodist’. By all means report this comment and get it deleted, but deep down, you know I am right.
Board of Education - March 10, 2020 - Report this comment
Mr. Copout, you are so right. This parody is totally dull, it sucks.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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