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Song Parodies -> "Don't Lean on Me"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Lean on Me"

Original Performer:

The Amity Affliction

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Lean on Me"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Time for another one of my patented "take the original title in a more literal direction" parodies! Being an emotional crutch is one thing, but when the other person has a clear foot and 20 kgs over you, who'd wanna be their literal crutch?
Don't dare, you might break me

Yes, I have noticed that you feel queasy
Your face has gone and turned green, see, yeah, I don't want you near me, oh

Dude, don't lean on me, smell is appallin', please, don't fall on me
Your fault for all that beer, yeah, don't need you, so I'll leave
And don't shout at me 'cause what's astoundin', see, is how I see
Your bad breath, stands out stark in the dark pub, spare me
Beggin' you to spare me

Though I'm sure that you need some help to get you to bed
Since you're in no state to drive or even walk, tough shit
Can't tell how hard you flop on me, I cannot steer easily
'Cause you outsize me, you dipshit, so I can't be your relief, oh

Dude, don't lean on me, you'll soon be fallin', please, you'll fall with me
My back can't take the sheer damn weight of you, so I'll leave
Bulk surroundin' me, I'm more than frownin', please, don't shout at me
I'm not a shoppin' cart, I can't take your weight, please

You can't focus your eyes, on the floor's where you'll go
And I don't have a single reason for me to be your cushion, jerk
Not for me

Dude, don't lean on me, you'll break my shoulder, please, we'll fall and bleed
The cost'll be too dear, we're not rich dudes, so I'll leave
You'll be drownin' me 'cause you kept downin' cheap booze, now it's free
Cleanin' those stains, too hard, so get off, you'll break me

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, yeah-eah-eah, don't want you to break me
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, yeah-eah-eah, I'll drag you, don't break me

It's a bit hard to take lyrics like "There is hope in my eyes, there is hope in these words" seriously when you sound like a pissed-off Cookie Monster, IMO.

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 LittleLots
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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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 5   1
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