Wining, dining, candlelight
Pepperoni goes well with all drinks
She said she would spend the night
Took her home and she’s like
“Oh-em-gee Mike what the heck
This smells like a fart from Shrek
Gotta leave, because blech”

New, sunny, super-clean
Are some things that my abode is not
At least when the roof has leaks
I don’t notice – it’s wet a lot
And hey, there’s no rent
It’s quite a good deal for no dough spent
Here with four of my best friends
After the mutation this is my element

When it comes to prep for Shredder
Living here is pretty nice
Sure, my love life could be better
Heroics come with a price
Fought a long list of opponents
And most blew up or died
People tell me I’m a cheeseball
I do love the pie

Since I’m young and I'm jobless
I stay here without shame
Even though I’m sockless
And rats are far from tame
Maybe I’m a bit cold blooded
My heart still beats the same
And I got a dank place, maybe
I need a change

No broker, I’m too broke
Turns out Jimmy MacMillan was right
Three K monthly is no joke
Since I need money I will fight
When I’m in the mood
I will toss cheesy food
Ring name will be party dude, oh yeah

Pinning, winning, shell shock slam
Quickly break them like bagels, warmed
Post wins on Instagram
Got them reminiscing like
“Love love love, loved that fight
Almost close one, but not quite”
Now the champ belt is in my sight
I’ll hope I'll remember to send my friends invites

My kick combo can be nasty
Helps me stand tall though I’m not big
Next opponents are a tag team
It’s the rhino and the pig
As foes they are quite familiar
They’re slow, this should be fun
They are strong but I’m much quicker
Now who gave them guns?

What the heck is this madness?
I have to quit and flee
My conscience can’t stand this
High risk of casualties
Maybe I’ll give up the money
But really it’s okay
It’s a struggle dank place dating
But I’ll find a way

Guns don't belong where it’s crowded
I’m sure of this and this is why I shout it
Guns don't belong where it’s crowded
There is no doubt, yeah, there’s no doubt about it

When it comes to prep for Shredder
Living here is pretty nice
Sure, my love life could be better
Heroics come with a price
Fought a long list of opponents
And most blew up or died
People tell me I’m a cheeseball
I do love the pie

Since I’m young and I am jobless
I stay here without shame
Even though I’m sockless
And rats are far from tame
Maybe I’m a bit cold blooded
My heart still beats the same
It’s a struggle dank place dating
But I’ll find a way