I remember what I opened up, the last year
Christmas presents I can't get enough, model car
And having to put on this stupid bluff
'Cause it is the thought back for years. (What?)
Grammy comes around again and says, "Honey…"
"I made you something for this Christmas Day, trust me…"
Crocheting it in crate of craft beers
I think, "A sweater, I hate 'em", you ask me, "I love it!"

Boo-ooo-oooo
I wore it out to eat last night, but
Boo-ooo-oooo
This time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

I will never ever ever wear that Christmas sweater
I will never ever ever wear that Christmas sweater
You could buy me t-shirts, buy me blue jeans, anything
But I will never ever ever ever wear that Christmas sweater

Like, ever...

I'm really sorry for this holiday season, Grammy
Wrecking all these Christmas get me a musical tie, but you
Go hide away and just gives me blues, with some
That jigsaw that me and drinking booze

Boo-ooo-oooo
I feel like crap, made Grammy cry, but
Boo-ooo-oooo
Can't risk not telling, not telling you

Please just never ever ever make me Christmas sweaters
Please just never ever ever make me Christmas sweaters
You can make me cookies, make me brownies, any treats (any treats)
But please just never ever ever ever make me Christmas sweaters

Boo-ooo-oooo
Boo-ooo-oooo
Boo-ooo-oooo
Na-na-na

I used to think that gifts were for deluxe rods, rods
Now I gave me cash, "Like a donkey's rear…"
Uggg... So she drives on up and she's like, "I so love you!"
And I'm like, "It just... I mean this is fishing line, you know, Like,
I'm never wearing that sweater. Like, ever"

No!

Please just never ever ever make me Christmas sweaters
Please just never ever ever make me Christmas sweaters
You're all these bad gifts, make me bad gifts, any gifts
But please just never ever ever ever make me Christmas sweaters

Please (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, no)
Make me Christmas sweaters
Please (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, oh, oh, yeah)
Make me Christmas sweaters
You're all these bad gifts, make me bad gifts, any gifts
(Any gifts)
But please just never ever ever ever ever make me Christmas sweaters