Song Parodies -> "Bottomless Magazines"

Original Song Title:

"Fire Meet Gasoline"

Original Performer:

"Bottomless Magazines"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

I'm not exactly an expert on guns, but even I know you need to reload every once in a while...

This film is dumb in ways real fun, but I'm
Failin' to turn off my mind, I see
That all the guns are set to rapid fire
The rat-a-tats get tired, you see
And so to my wanderin', wanderin' mind
All I can, all I can spy
Somethin' dumb, somethin' dumb and kinda bogus
Despite all the rat-a-tats, rat-a-tats now
It's a constant blast, constant, somehow
Never stoppin' to reload it, it's all I can notice

So hard not to see bottomless magazines
Bottomless magazines, see use all the time
Pulls me out the scene when it's all I can see
Bottomless magazines, bottomless magazines (oh-whoa-oh)
They've got all they need (oh-whoa-oh-oh) to murder all they see (oh-whoa-oh-oh)
Bottomless magazines, cause who has the time (oh-whoa-oh)
To reload? No, we need (oh-whoa-oh-oh) more dead mooks on the screen (oh-whoa-oh-oh)
Bottomless magazines, in use all the time

If they took time to reload, then I might
Invest in just why they kill guys
Because right now? Tension lacks, tension lacks, wow
I don't give a crap, give a shit now
If they can't run out of bullets, then what is the problem?

Ev'ry action scene, bottomless magazines
Bottomless magazines, sometimes I rewind
Just to check and see if I just missed a scene
Bottomless magazines, bottomless magazines (oh-whoa-oh)
But it's true, I see (oh-whoa-oh-oh) nothin' there, I just see (oh-whoa-oh-oh)
Bottomless magazines ev'ry friggin' time (oh-whoa-oh)
Not just in this movie (oh-whoa-oh-oh), it's quite the common theme (oh-whoa-oh-oh)
Bottomless magazines, in use all the time

Whether they're belt-fed or just clips
Ev'ry gun has a ton of blood-spillin' bullets
Mood's less dire, right, when you find
The lack of "Crap, got no ammo left!"
In fact, I checked if this flick
Started off as an old video game, cause then
Constant fire might feel just right
No ammo stashes in old games, but then

I soon came to see bottomless magazines
Bottomless magazines were not cause of my
"Game precedent" screed, just failed accuracy
Bottomless magazines, bottomless magazines (oh-whoa-oh)
So sick of this scene (oh-whoa-oh-oh), because all I can see (oh-whoa-oh-oh)
Bottomless magazines, they're draggin' out time (oh-whoa-oh)
No pauses, just a spree (oh-whoa-oh-oh) of death with wanton glee (oh-whoa-oh-oh)
Bottomless magazines, in use all the time

It's seen all the time
Seen all the damn time
In films all the time
Meh, meh

It's been a while since I've watched the Matrix, but if they did the same thing in those films, I'd be fine with it. I'm sure they could've hacked themselves some infiniguns.

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Patrick - November 08, 2019 - Report this comment

I'm somewhat familiar with firearms, and I've noticed how long one can sustain a burst of fire onscreen, as opposed to the real world. One of my favorites is "Across 110th Street", a gangster film from the 1970's in which three Black guys dressed as cops rob a Mafia money transfer "bank" and shoot everyone there with a submachine gun, thus incurring the wrath of the Harlem gang, the Italian mob, and the NYPD. A cop at the massacre scene reported "over 100" bullet holes, even though the gun in question holds only 32 or 36 cartridges. Throughout the picture, the "hero" is never seen with a second magazine, or even a pouch to carry one. Yet, he continues to wage a running gunfight with the police, the Mafia and their Harlem subordinates. Since the magazines for that particular model of subgun are rather expensive, I wouldn't be surprised if the prop rental company only had one mag for the gun. A bit of history: the fabled "six-gun" of the Old West, likewise never reloaded on screen, was typically loaded with only five rounds, at least by anyone who didn't want to "Barney Fife" himself by dropping the thing or banging the hammer by accident on a fence post.

CML - November 09, 2019 - Report this comment

I take note of these departures from reality as well. For example, in Hacksaw Ridge you had the "magic bazooka" which was able to blow a concrete bunker to smithereens, even though in reality their 2,36 mm projectiles bounced off Tiger tanks like rubber balls. Then you had the flamethrower guy charging a Japanese trench along with the front line troops. Hmm, didn't occur to the Japs to shoot that guy with the two gasoline tanks strapped to his back before he got close enough to set them on fire? ….. Then you had SGT Vince Vaughn using an M-3 machine pop gun with limited range that was designed specifically for house to house fighting in Europe. Who was the tactical genius who issued that? …. And here's one you see all the time -- the universal explosive that explodes with basically the same boom regardless of whether it's a one lb hand grenade or a 2200 lb shell from a 16 inch (400 mm) gun on a battleship

Patrick - November 09, 2019 - Report this comment

"Hacksaw Ridge" was one of the more realistic looking combat movies. I suppose if Hollywood got too real it might turn off the audience. Heavy artillery fire explodes 10 feet from a running soldier and he just keeps going. Of course, in the older movies a guy could take a bullet to the chest and not get his shirt wet.

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