I hate to be the one to gloat
Can't rest if someone doesn't know this
You see this huge bag that I tote?
Prepared for all that you propose, yeah
Too many times, the crucial item's missin', mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
So I resolved that I should not be skimpin'
Ain't skimpin', yeah-eah-eah-heah

Spare food I'm takin', a couple gallons of gravy
Never have enough provisions
There's a lot of things stored in my bag
Bringin' my bathers, umbrellas, shoes for ice skatin'
For ev'ry weather condition
There's a lot of things stored in my bag
Ton of things stored in my bag
Lots of things stored in my bag

Carry six phones in case one breaks
Paint tubes, I get an itch for paintin'
Tools to stop somethin' that's aflame
And tools to get anythin' blazin'
Gettin' one thing out takes sev'ral minutes, oh-oh-ho-oh-oh
It's worth it to prove that I packed my kitchen
Whole kitchen, yeah-eah-eah-eah

Petrol I'm takin', the prices are ever-raisin'
Got types for each car condition
There's a lot of things stored in my bag
Back may be achin', that's why I packed medication
And some notes from my physician
There's a lot of things stored in my bag
Ton of things stored in my bag

May think that there are times when I take plannin' too far
When would I need this shite? Get the crowbar and flashlight
But the big bag of dice? Am I headin' for a LARP?
And why the dynamite? Bit too much, you would be right
But once I saved ten lives with an empty grape jam jar
Used this toothpick to fight a thief armed with a big knife
Call me MacGuyver-lite, it's pretty friggin' hard
Not to gloat because I can do all this shite

So I'll be takin' my giant sack of crap daily
I hate to sound repetitious
There's a lot of things stored in my bag
It's worth the strainin' to see the look on your faces
When I extract 3D printers
There's a lot of things stored in my bag
Oh-ooh-whoa-oh-oh
Ton of things stored in my bag
I haul with me ten tons at least, trust me
There's a lot of things stored in my bag