Dude, keep the scams to yourself
Can't you tell that I'm ignorin' you?
So sure you've lucked into wealth
And that you're such a nice, friendly dude
That you'll share it with your mates
Pretendin' that I don't know that you
Will charge a large int'rest rate
You've made it clear you're a giant douche

Oh-oh-ho
I'm not gonna jump like a sucker, gonna warn all of our other
Friends, stop tryin', stop tryin', stop tryin', tryin'
To say we're closer than brothers, never pull that rug from under
Me, you're lyin', you're lyin', you're lyin', that's right

Just keep the scams to yourself
Scams to yourself
Dude, keep the scams to yourself
Scams to yourself

Can't lure me in with your hook
The twenty-eighth time you've tried today
Don't have a big enough book
To count the times you've tried this decade, oh-oh

Oh-ho-oh
You sure love that old line "a sucker born ev'ry minute", no wonder
You keep tryin' and tryin' and tryin', tryin'
Must think I'm some kind of nutter to think this one won't go under
Know you're lyin', you're lyin', you're lyin', that's right

Just keep the scams to yourself
Dumb scams to yourself
Please keep the scams to yourself
Lame scams to yourself
Dude, keep the scams to yourself
You'll keep it all, grow your own wealth
Just keep the scams to yourself
I won't play ball, go straight to hell

Oh my, you have the gall
The utter balls to say I want
Ooh-ooh
To keep the scam to myself
I mean I could, but why would I want to?

This scam for myself (oh-oh)?
Won't keep this scam for myself
This scam is my hell (won't keep, keep this)
Won't keep this scam for myself
I'm just appalled, you think it's swell
Go keep the scams to yourself
Not gonna fall for that, like hell
Go keep the scams to yourself