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Song Parodies -> "The Mart's Got What It's Got"

Original Song Title:

"The Heart Wants What It Wants"

Original Performer:

Selena Gomez

Parody Song Title:

"The Mart's Got What It's Got"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

There's a lot of things that can get your average crazy customer all bent out of shape. Today's thing: refusing to accept that the shop doesn't sell what they're looking for. Not out of stock, doesn't sell it, never has.
What the mart's got
The mart's got
What the mart's got, got, got, got, got, got

I guess when you went out shoppin'
Had your heart set on somethin'
That we don't have but throwin'
A huge temper tantrum isn't right
There's no huge back room where it's layin'
Listen to the words I'm sayin'
The item that you're cravin'
Is not one we sell, nor a close type

You want a football? Well, they're not here
Just fruits and vegetables, that should be clear
From what's in the aisles and on the walls
I wish you would stop the names you call
Save all the lines that it's not fair
And how I might be brain-impaired
There's a million reasons why you should give it up
But the mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot
The mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot

No, I'm not keepin' a secret
Stash of the thing you're seekin'
For my own use, stop seethin'
We don't sell that stuff here, can't wait 'til break
Coworker took a look for ya
In case we missed a memo
But the answer is still no
I'm afraid it's so, please stop the pain

Six times you've been told that it's not here
There's no way what's unfolded can't be clear
"Customer is right always" Not all
Statement won't change what's inside our stalls
Please calm down, I like when my hair
Stays put on my head, let go there
There's a million reasons why you should give it up
But the mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot
The mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot
The mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot
The mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot

All the adjectives that you wail
Are far more suited to what you entail
Since you call me stubborn, a lazy lout
And a moron, a complete clown, clown, clown, clown

You've got the wrong store, that thing's not here
You say I'm talkin' nonsense, should be clear
Made a call to my manager Paul
He'll say the same, what a wasted call
But since he's higher than me, their
Words are now right, it drives me spare
There's a million reasons why you should give it up
But the mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot
The mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot
The mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot
The mart's got what it's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ot

The mart's got what it's got, trust me
It's got what it's got, trust me
It's got what it's got
It's got what it's got
The mart's got what it's got, trust me
It's got what it's got, trust me

Took me a long time to full internalise that the opening lines of this song are "What the heart wants" and not "What the fuck's wrong" which is what i t totally sounds like.

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