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Song Parodies -> "The Jocks"

Original Song Title:

"The Box"

Original Performer:

Roddy Ricch

Parody Song Title:

"The Jocks"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Something to Believe In" self-challenge. Stock characters tend to have a basis of truth in them. This is just taking the piss, however...
Thought they were a myth, guess they're not
Make my life hell, old plot
On the floor, I fell, 'cause of jocks
Got a bone to pick with the jocks
I won't, 'cause they'll kick me, damn jocks, mmh
Wallet and phone, they'll steal, why do they hate me?
Who broke the time wall seal? 'Cause they popped in from the '80s
No, I don't play football, I suck at that
So they punched me in the nose, loud crack, crack
They won't break my will at all, hope I can back that
'Cause if they win, it would blow, really crap, crap

This is real bad, I can't dash fast
They will kick wherever their sneakers end up at (skrrt)
Yes, I know the cliché, assholes from a damn frat (yeah)
They're the enforcers for social order
The stereotypical "F" hoarders
Reachin' their hand down to grab on to the border
Of my undies, I wish they were shorter
So that they can't pull 'em beyond my shoulders
But no, they're pulled right over my head, such torture (yeah)
And I know one has got their phone out, recordin'
It's a common scene in old movies, this nonsense
Should remain there, so how can this be? I got a strong sense
That somethin's amiss, can't be real, it's bollocks
Shouldn't have said out loud for somebody to pinch me
Feel their eyes on me, not pretty

Dealin' with these douchebags is wrong
Escaped from some film plot
I'm sure you've seen one with some jocks
All those dude-bro dicks, yes, the jocks
Skulls ever so thick, stupid jocks, mmh
With ev'ry prank, I feel that they might hate me
But I don't get the deal, thought this trope died in the '80s
Bullyin' takes a toll, we know that, mack
Did these guys miss the memo? They crack, crack
Their knuckles, which makes me stall, hope they don't back that
'Cause if they win, it would blow, really crap, crap, huh

Hahaha, always laughin' about ('bout)
Their latest victim while another booze can is downed (yeah)
One kid's in a rubbish bin, one's two teeth short, doubt
They'd laugh along, douche kings, you're crowned
Those jackets are fly as shit, I won't be denyin' it
Wish they weren't owned by such asses (yeah)
The part I don't get, confused by it:
This is real life, not a stage, we don't have a script
But they're so stock, their shirts say Getty Images
And also: I'm a grown man, no high school sap, shit
So these out-of-date bastards make absolutely no sense
Not even at a school, so what in the shit?
Have I been slipped drugs? Popped in my drink so stealthy, yeah
Somethin' has gone nuts, timestream ain't healthy, yeah

Somethin' 'bout these douchebags is off
Popped out of some stock plot
Obsessed with the big game, these jocks
Chasin' after chicks, yes, the jocks
Never take the hint, stupid jocks, mmh
Waitin' for the reveal for why they hate me
Bros these days have more feels than they had back in the '80s
A hole inside their soul, really sad, man
But I think the answer's "no", they're flat, flat
Found the lockers in this mall, they got my ass trapped
Said if they win, it would blow, really crap, crap

My school didn't have jocks. Then again, we also didn't have cheerleaders. Dunno if that's a difference between Australian and American schools or the result of me going to a Christian school. Or maybe both. Or maybe neither! It will always be a mystery...

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Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 14

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