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Song Parodies -> "Can You Descend"

Original Song Title:

"Can We Pretend"

Original Performer:

Pink ft. Cash Cash

Parody Song Title:

"Can You Descend"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

We've all been overcome with nerves at times. Sometimes it can come at a really annoying time...like when you've paid big bucks for skydiving.
I can get the trepidation from this sort of situation
Have to go where no-one sane would wanna go
So you're standin' and you're cryin' while I'm glancin' and I'm sighin'
And I ask "Were you gonna move today?"
I don't have a lot of time, lots of places I must go
So just get over your fright and jump right out of that door
The wind outside is real freezin' and blasts right up my nose
Do it, take a runnin' leap and go

Dude, can you descend? I don't want you in my plane
Got customers other than you, oh yeah
Can you descend? I don't have all friggin' day
Jump out there into the big blue, oh yeah
Can you descend? Just get on with your planned descent
Can you descend? The rush will wash over you, hell yeah
Can you descend? 'Cause honestly, your panicky ass bores me
Just descend, oh, sick of this scene, can you, can you descend?

Can you descend?

You remember that you wanted this over some bungee jumpin'?
I don't have much sympathy for you today
Take a runnin' jump and skip then hop right out into space
Take the quiver out your lip, put colour back in your face
You might tell me you're regrettin' this whole thing, yes, I know
Said it 'bout a thousand times, just go, oh yeah

Dude, can you descend? I'm sure you won't end up paste
'Cause you've got a buddy with you, oh yeah
Can you descend? Dunno what's upon his face
But if it's like mine, he hates you, oh yeah
Can you descend? All of your panic is legit, hell yeah
Can you descend? Don't want to come off as rude, oh yeah
Can you descend? But honestly, your panicky ass bores me
Just descend, oh, got folks to see, can you, can you descend?

Can you descend?

If I'm honest, wish that I had a little extra dough
'Cause I thought of this last night: how to get folks out the door
Just a little elbow greasin', metal finger to poke
Use it when some asshole won't let go

Dude, can you descend? Already paid for this descent, hah
Can you descend? I can't refund up here, dude, oh yeah
Can you descend? 'Cause honestly, your panicky ass bores me
Just descend, oh, make like a tree, can you, can you descend?

Can you descend?
Dude, can you descend?
Can you go 'head and leave?
Dude, please, said please

Can you descend? 'Cause honestly, your panicky ass bores me
Just descend, oh, stop twitchin', geez, can you, can you descend?
Hah, what a dweeb

I had also considered doing this about someone who was hesitating to go down into the sewer, but I got so into the idea of a really flippant skydiving pilot that it slipped my mind until it came time to submit. Oh well, another day, I suppose...

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Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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