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Song Parodies -> "Lids"

Original Song Title:

"Kids"

Original Performer:

OneRepublic

Parody Song Title:

"Lids"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Open, dammit, open!
Hate this
It's too tight, too tight but I won't give in
Eh, twistin' it faster
Don't care if I put my wrist in plaster, ayy-ayy-ayy-ayy-ayy-ee
'Cause I yearn for the taste of the sauce that's contained
In this damn bottle now, won't come out, it's a pain in more ways than one
Hurts my fingers, might do them enough harm to straight rip the things off
But I want in this jar, not the first time that this problem's happened, sucks
I swear my muscles are fine

After all my strains and twistin', I'm not closer to that lovely pasta taste
Think some tools might be in order, get a wrench in here before I go insane
I can't open lids, why must they be so tight?
I just suck at lids, they're all so friggin' tight

Lie down
Until I can feel my fingers again now
Eh, good thing I factored
How I'm pathetic with this, no disasters, ayy-ayy-ayy-ayy-ayy-ee-ee
I don't have the stove on, nothin' bubblin' hot
Started at 4 o'clock just to give myself two hours, what a joke
I should've known to give five

'Cause I still can't hack this twistin', not sure why I even really bother, mate
I know why: it's 'cause I hunger for the sauce and jam and other stuff contained
Underneath those lids, why must they be so tight?
I can't open lids, each one I buy's so tight

Bet somebody's askin' if I've checked my graspin'
And I haven't made a huge mistake
Know which way I'm turnin', fingers have been burnin'
And in a lefty-loosey way

Still won't budge those lids, not turnin' to the right
Can't open those lids, all so insanely tight
No part of this thing is twistin', all I'm gettin' out of it is shoulder pain (stupid friggin' lids)
Ev'ryone says there's some gadget that would help but no-one wants to help locate
Stuck with these stuck lids

The other technique I have to help open stubborn jars (besides doing it as the first step and employing the little plastic dealie shaped like Maui's hook) is to scream Yosemite Sam style gibberish at it. Pops the bastard right open.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   26
 26
 26
 

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