Buddy, I need, I need a new jeep
One that is functional but still quite cheap
Cause buddy, my jeep, my jeep falls apart
When I look at it weird cause
It's a crappy car
Yeah, such a crappy car

Driven this car 'bout a thousand times
On the first day, it was fine
Now I've only one headlight
And it only shines the brights
It's old, yes, my car is old
Junk, that's what I've been told
By anyone who's seen the mold
Growin' in the engine hold

I-I-I-I-I-I need somethin' to ride
That won't fall to pieces
Yes, my-y-y-y-y-y car horn will not honk
'Cept when I don't want it
The breeze is nice, breeze is nice, breeze is nice
Cause it's missin' all the doors on its left side

Buddy, I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
One that has intact windows, would be neat
And buddy, my jeep, my jeep smells like arse (hey!)
Radio sparks and buzzes
It's a crappy car
Clearly I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
The comfiness has been drained out the seats
Yeah, clearly my jeep, my jeep's broken parts (hey!)
Won't sell well since they're busted
Such a, such a crappy car

The steering wheel gives me such a burn
Not just summer, no, it's worse
Although it's so rust-covered
I'm surprised that thing can turn
Old, as I said, it's old
Rust, covers it like mold
More than two passengers, can't hold
Without losin' speed ten-fold

Oh, I-I-I-I-I-I know ev'rything's wrong
The gearbox, it still squeaks
A good-ish ride, good-ish ride, good-ish ride
Wouldn't belch exhaust when it shifts gears, ain't right

Buddy, I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
The engine has this issue leakin' grease
So mostly my jeep, my jeep's in the yard (hey!)
Use it for target practice
It's a crappy car
Clearly I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
The air conditioning smells like old feet
Yeah, clearly my jeep, my jeep's time is past (hey!)
Keep peltin' pebbles at it
Such a, such a crappy car

Ooh
Windscreen wipers squeak and jerk
They barely clean up the insects and dirt
And the handbrake rarely works
Can't park unless it's flat, gets on my nerves
Many little tricks I've learned
Three tries to start up, third gear doesn't work
Ten long years this car has served
Over the years it's lost all of its perks
Like it's held together by pure will and grime

Buddy, I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
One that won't leave oil all across the street
Yeah, buddy, my jeep, my jeep's failed its task (hey!)
Of being somewhat useful
It's a crappy car
Clearly I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
The glovebox holds a cockroach family
Yeah, clearly my jeep, my jeep's had a blast (hey!)
So old, needs metamucil
Such a, such a crappy car

There's no car that could be worse
Sure, there's the Pinto, yes, blowin' up hurts
That's only one problem, sir
Mine's got a dozen, and some more might lurk
I can't find them, what a jerk
Like that one time it spat oil on my shirt
That's my list of sick car burns
Hope it ain't a 'bot, I'd feel like a jerk