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Song Parodies -> "Crappy Car"

Original Song Title:

"Counting Stars"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Crappy Car"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "Living The Fantasy" self-challenge. A song about a shitty car. Simple enough. Enjoy!
Buddy, I need, I need a new jeep
One that is functional but still quite cheap
Cause buddy, my jeep, my jeep falls apart
When I look at it weird cause
It's a crappy car
Yeah, such a crappy car

Driven this car 'bout a thousand times
On the first day, it was fine
Now I've only one headlight
And it only shines the brights
It's old, yes, my car is old
Junk, that's what I've been told
By anyone who's seen the mold
Growin' in the engine hold

I-I-I-I-I-I need somethin' to ride
That won't fall to pieces
Yes, my-y-y-y-y-y car horn will not honk
'Cept when I don't want it
The breeze is nice, breeze is nice, breeze is nice
Cause it's missin' all the doors on its left side

Buddy, I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
One that has intact windows, would be neat
And buddy, my jeep, my jeep smells like arse (hey!)
Radio sparks and buzzes
It's a crappy car
Clearly I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
The comfiness has been drained out the seats
Yeah, clearly my jeep, my jeep's broken parts (hey!)
Won't sell well since they're busted
Such a, such a crappy car

The steering wheel gives me such a burn
Not just summer, no, it's worse
Although it's so rust-covered
I'm surprised that thing can turn
Old, as I said, it's old
Rust, covers it like mold
More than two passengers, can't hold
Without losin' speed ten-fold

Oh, I-I-I-I-I-I know ev'rything's wrong
The gearbox, it still squeaks
A good-ish ride, good-ish ride, good-ish ride
Wouldn't belch exhaust when it shifts gears, ain't right

Buddy, I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
The engine has this issue leakin' grease
So mostly my jeep, my jeep's in the yard (hey!)
Use it for target practice
It's a crappy car
Clearly I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
The air conditioning smells like old feet
Yeah, clearly my jeep, my jeep's time is past (hey!)
Keep peltin' pebbles at it
Such a, such a crappy car

Windscreen wipers squeak and jerk
They barely clean up the insects and dirt
And the handbrake rarely works
Can't park unless it's flat, gets on my nerves
Many little tricks I've learned
Three tries to start up, third gear doesn't work
Ten long years this car has served
Over the years it's lost all of its perks
Like it's held together by pure will and grime

Buddy, I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
One that won't leave oil all across the street
Yeah, buddy, my jeep, my jeep's failed its task (hey!)
Of being somewhat useful
It's a crappy car
Clearly I need, I need a new jeep (hey!)
The glovebox holds a cockroach family
Yeah, clearly my jeep, my jeep's had a blast (hey!)
So old, needs metamucil
Such a, such a crappy car

There's no car that could be worse
Sure, there's the Pinto, yes, blowin' up hurts
That's only one problem, sir
Mine's got a dozen, and some more might lurk
I can't find them, what a jerk
Like that one time it spat oil on my shirt
That's my list of sick car burns
Hope it ain't a 'bot, I'd feel like a jerk

Writing this parody was an exercise in thinking of car components, then thinking "now how can that part not work?" and going from there.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - April 14, 2014 - Report this comment
Totally agreed on your little footnote comment, having recently written a crappy car parody myself. I liked this a lot, especially the a capella bridge that you had to work HARD at to make every line new.and funny.
Max Power - April 22, 2014 - Report this comment
James Dean regretted it when he bought his.
Matthias - April 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Crappy car parodies are a blast to write. See my very own Ford POS that I used for the Beach Boys round. This one was a great modern version of the same idea but as I said it's a comedy goldmine.
Abbott Skelding - April 24, 2014 - Report this comment
I really like the OS and this was a fun read because I think everyone can related to it (to some extent, hopefully not this bad haha). A lot of funny lines and the pacing seemed pretty tight...nice work!
Jeff Reuben - April 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Cool song, I actually like the OS to this one. It was fun to read your version.
Blaydeman - April 24, 2014 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good work on a deceptively difficult OS. Pacing was generally spot on (some phrases were a little awkward, but overall perfect). Packed with good humor, and fun. The bridge was a home run! Nice work!
Glen S - April 28, 2014 - Report this comment
My wife and I bought a Jeep last year, and you'd be amazed how true this parody is :c). Great rhyme scheme, and got funnier and funnier the more issues you found with it. Not sure why, but especially liked 'I need a new Jeep/(that) would be neat'
prosperalways - April 27, 2021 - Report this comment
The Conqueror of parodies, take a bow! Pacing, pitch...5's don't to justice.

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