Oh, you know I don't hate you, won't even say "don't like"
It's your habits I can't take, need to die
One for now, I'll be fair, I'll be fair
One for now, I'll be fair, yeah
Oh, when you, when you, when you get a little ol' cold
And the drip, drip starts in force from your shnoz
Good that you wipe it out, wipe it out
Good that you wipe it out, yeah
But what you then tend to do that makes me fume
Yeah, all on your shirt is where you blow, geez

Sto-o-op, that's not where you blow sno-o-ot
Makes a stain, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah
Yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah
You never hesitate, you know
It's always the first place you blow
Please abstain, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah
Yeah-eah-ee-yeah, just use a tissue

Oh, buddy, buddy, why must you add patches of green
To the red shade of your fav'rite fan tee?
C'mon, not Christmas here, Christmas here
C'mon, not Christmas here, yeah
Oh, just the wipin' part would still be gross, man, but then
You go and toot like an elephant, shit
Buddy, that's quite the sight, quite the sight
Buddy, that's quite the sight, yeah
Watchin' you blowin' a few notes out, I fume
Yeah, think I deserve clothes washed sep'rately

Sto-o-op distributin' your sno-o-ot
In shirt stains, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah
Yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah
It's always the first place you go (c'mon)
Lift your sleeve to your face and blow
Please abstain, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah
Yeah-eah-ee-yeah, just use a tissue

Use a tissue
Use a tissue
Use a tissue
Use a tissue (c'mon)
Na, na, na-na-na-na-na, na
Na, na, na-na-na-na-na, na
Na, na, na-na-na-na-na, na (yeah-eah)
Stop lyin', jerk, we're not "all out", please

Sto-o-op, each damn room has a bo-o-ox
For you, mate, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah
Yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah
If you don't try to change your blows
I'll nail 'em to your face, you know
You're a pain, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah
Yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah (yeah)
You look like a slo-o-ob with that fresh and dried sno-o-ot
Hate your stains, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah
Yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah (yeah-eah-eah)
You say you forgot? Mate, just don't
Far too consistent rate, you know
Please abstain, yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah-ee-yeah-eah
Yeah-eah-ee-yeah, just use a tissue