Song Parodies -> "Flag You Down"

Original Song Title:

"Drag Me Down"

Original Performer:

"Flag You Down"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. Another in my ever-growing series of "annoying traffic-related shenanigans" parodies, the story of a guy who tries a new method of transportation. Or at least, tries to try...

Never learned to drive a car
On a bike, can't get far
Cause exercise just makes me wheezy
The bus can't take me places, no
Without windin' like so
Timetable's a ly-yin' heathen
I can't deal with schedules, can't carpool with my friends
And I ain't walkin' so there's just one option left
Only one thing to do, cause I really can't run
Cause I always cough up a lung, yeah-eah-eah

Flashin' lights, they won't stop me
Cause I've gotta get you to notice me
You're in sight in your taxi
So plea-ease stop, I'm tryin' to flag you down
Arms spread wide, you should see me
No, wait, hang on, please don't zoom right past me
That's not right, I yelled "Taxi!"
Thought tha-at's how I'm supposed to flag you down

You ass, need a taxi (hey)
I'm tryin' to fla-ag you down
You prat, need a taxi (hey)
I'm tryin' to fla-ag you down

Didn't think this would be hard
I don't know where to start
Am I just in the wrong location?
I've never done this thing before
Am I supposed to call
Up in advance? I-I'm just guessin'
I never learned that whist-l-in'-with-fingers trick (whistle trick)
I don't have a tan so this ain't some racist shit (racist shit)
Are you just a big douche? Some kinda lazy bum (lazy bum)?
And passengers, I can see none, eh-yeah-eah-eah

Don't turn right, that's not near me
I'm on the left, you can't be that blind, geez
Check your sight, you should see me
The ma-ad dork who's tryin' to flag you down

You twat, need a taxi (hey)
I'm tryin' to fla-ag you down
Jackass, need a taxi (hey)
I'm tryin' to fla-ag you

This ain't right, you zoom past me
And then the next cab does the same thing, geez
Come on, I've places to be
Won't you-ou stop? I'm tryin' to flag you down
Still I try because you see
If I give up that's when they'll notice me
Except I just jinxed it, see
That's my-y luck, always fail to flag you down

Stop, man, need a taxi (hey)
I'm tryin' to fla-ag you do-o-own (down, yeah)
Dumbass, need a taxi (hey)
I'm tryin' to fla-ag you down (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Please, man, need a taxi (hey) (eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
I'm tryin' to fla-ag you down (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Goddamn, need a taxi (hey) (eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
I'm tryin' to fla-ag you do-o-own

Really need to write a parody about how I was way too judgemental against 1D when they first showed up because holy crap, was I mean in that parody I just linked. Yeah, the song is creepy if you think about it for too long but still, way too mean was I.

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